“‘Happy in spite of’ entails a choice to be happy; it acknowledges problems but doesn’t put them in the way of contentment.  ‘Happy if only’ pins happiness on outside circumstances: if only I had more money, less pain, a nicer spouse or house, I’d be happy as a clam.  ‘Happy if only’ feeds millions of dollars into lotteries or impulse purchases, which provide nothing of the sort.  Ping, by contrast, didn’t expect her hardships to pass, so didn’t pin her happiness on their doing so.  When she was younger, she said, she thought moving to America would solve her problems; she found that it just replaced them with others.  The lesson was to find happiness not in the absence of pain and loss, but in their acceptance.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 135)