A Wise Woman’s Advice To A Young Man Whose Life Was “Full Of Pain” [Excerpt]

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Excerpt: A young man seeks help from a wise woman because his life is “full of pain.” How she responds is equal parts surprising as it is satisfying.

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The following is an excerpt from Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty (found on page 218). In it, Shetty shares a story of a young man who seeks guidance from a wise woman because he feels his life is full of pain. How she responds to the young man is equal parts surprising as it is satisfying. Enjoy!

The Story:

“What brings you to me?” asked an old, wise woman of the young man who stood before her.

“I see joy and beauty around me, but from a distance,” the young man said. “My own life is full of pain.”

The wise woman was silent. She slowly poured a cup of water for the sad young man and handed it to him. Then she held out a bowl of salt.

“Put some in the water,” she said.

The young man hesitated, then took a small pinch of salt.

“More. A handful,” the old woman said.

Looking skeptical, the young man put a scoop of salt in his cup. The old woman gestered with her head, instructing the young man to drink. He took a sip of water, made a face, and spat it onto the dirt floor.

“How was it?” the old woman asked.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” said the young man rather glumly.

The old woman smiled knowingly, then handed the young man the bowl of salt and led him to a nearby lake. The water was clear and cold. “Now put a handful of salt in the lake,” she said.

The young man did as he was instructed, and the salt dissolved into the water. “Have a drink,” the old woman said.

The young man knelt at the water’s edge and slurped from his hands.

When he looked up, the old woman again asked, “How was it?”

“Refreshing,” said the young man.

“Could you taste the salt?” asked the wise woman.

The young man smiled sheepishly. “Not at all,” he said.

The old woman knelt next to the man, helped herself to some water, and said, “The salt is the pain of life. It is constant, but if you put it in a small glass, it tastes bitter. If you put it in a lake, you can’t taste it. Expand your senses, expand your world, and the pain will diminish. Don’t be the glass. Become the lake.”

Afterword via Jay Shetty:

Taking a broader view helps us minimize our pain and appreciate what we have, and we directly access this broader view by giving.

Research published in BMC Public Health points out that volunteering can result in lower feelings of depression and increased feelings of overall well-being.

When I lived in New York a charity called Capes for Kids went into a school in Queens and helped the students make superhero capes for kids from tough backgrounds.

The children who made the capes got to see the impact of their work and gifts, and it helped them realize how much they truly had.

When we see the struggles of others in the clear light of day, when we use our talents to improve their world even a little bit, we immediately feel a surge of gratitude.

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Read Next: A Short Story About Frida Kahlo And The Unexpected Gifts Pain Can Provide [Excerpt]

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If you enjoyed this excerpt from Think Like A Monk, you should read Jay Shetty’s book in full. It comes highly recommended.

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