3 False Solutions That Aren’t Helping You Solve Your Problems—They’re Just Making Them Worse

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Excerpt: What holds us back isn’t our problems—we can overcome those. The real demon is the false solutions we use to try to solve our problems…

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Having Problems Isn’t The Problem.

“What holds us back, you and I, isn’t our problems. We can overcome our problems. The real demon is the false solutions we use to try to solve our problems. You have issues on your back burner. Decide now—no more false solutions. Take hold of your issue, take it off your back burner, and take the time to deal with it.”

Mira Kirshenbaum, The Gift of a Year (Page 164)

Let’s say you come to a fallen tree branch as you’re driving down the road one night. It’s not exactly small enough to drive over and it covers the entire width of the road so you can’t veer around it. What do you do? Well, the seemingly obvious answer, to me, would be to try and drag the branch back to the side of the road. Or maybe ask a neighbor or another stopped car driver for help moving it. Assuming it’s not too big to be dragged, that should do the trick. Not much more to think about, right?

Well, why is it that the problems we face in our lives can’t be approached as simply? It seems to me that when faced with a problem in life, so many of us avoid the most direct solutions and instead take these convoluted, non-direct approaches in the name of ease, convenience, and/or laziness. As Kirshenbaum points out in the quote above, in many cases in life, our problem isn’t the problem itself, it’s in the false solutions that we use to try and solve the problems that we’re facing. Let’s go back to the branch example and explore three common false solution strategies.

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False Solution #1: Staying Busy.

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You come up to the large branch that’s fallen on the road. What do you do? You get out of the car and start pacing furiously up and down the branch. You throw in some words of frustration to show people how much you care about that branch being fallen. Then, you decide to count how many leaves are on the branch. Yeah, that will take up some time. Then, you measure how long the branch actually is—good to know for later. Why not take a couple of “before” pictures of the branch to compare with later, too? Good.

Now, before we move the branch, best to sit down and brainstorm what the best “branch moving tactics” might be. Maybe you could even do some price checks on saws so that if you need one, you have the best price guaranteed. It might even help to start a discussion group about “branch moving” so that everybody else who’s stuck by the branch can share how they feel, too. And then there’s YouTube. YouTube has to have some solid motivational videos on moving fallen tree branches, right? Better get hyped up before getting to it!

…Okay, you get the idea. Frustrating to read isn’t it? JUST DRAG THE STUPID BRANCH.

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False Solution #2: Chasing After A Gimmick.

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You come up to the large branch that’s fallen on the road. What do you do? Well, dragging the branch sounds like a lot of work, so might as well find something that will make dragging the branch more easy and convenient.

Maybe there’s a tree dragging service that you could subscribe to that will drag all of the tree branches in your path for you? They might even only be one call away. That would be way easier. Or why not buy the latest and greatest Branch Dragger 2000?! It comes with branch hooks, ropes, a lawn anchor, and a motor that will do all of the dragging for you! You can even fold it up and keep it stored away neatly in your truck for convenience. But, wait. If you call now, you can get a second Branch Dragger 2000 for FREE! Oh, but let’s not forget about the fancy new Branch Saw XL5Z! It cuts tree branches in as few as 10 saw strokes. And, it folds and fits right into your glove compartment. Ready to go.

…Or, you could just DRAG THE STUPID BRANCH.

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False Solution #3: The Grand Gesture.

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You come up to the large branch that’s fallen on the road. You’ve had enough. You’ve been dealing with fallen tree branches your whole life and they’ve given you enough strife. It’s time to make a statement. It’s time to release all of that pent up anger and frustration towards tree branches and do something drastic! No more gimmicks and no more busywork! So, what do you do? You drive your car over the damn branch. That’ll show it. Until the undercarriage of your car gets damaged. Or your car gets stuck.

Okay, fine not that. So, you get out of your car and kick and punch and scream at the damn thing! Yeah, that’ll do the trick. Or not. Maybe that will just hurt your knuckles, shins, and vocal cords? Yeah, I don’t think that will have much benefit either. In fact, I think the best solution, might be to just channel all of that anger, frustration, and stress and just—you guessed it—DRAG THE STUPID BRANCH.

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How Do You Approach The Problems Of Your Life?

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Now, if you haven’t already guessed, this post isn’t about dealing with tree branches that have fallen on the road. It’s about how you approach the problems and challenges in your life. It’s about dealing with obstacles that have obstructed your path in general. It’s about what you do when you have a relationship issue. Or what you do when you have an important project to get done at work. Or what you do to try and stay healthy and fit.

The question you have to ask yourself is, are you dealing with your problems in the most effective and practical ways? Or are you really just settling for a false solution strategy? Are you utilizing your time, energy, and effort in the most efficient ways or are you really just distracting yourself with busywork, lazily chasing after gimmicks, and/or putting on these sweeping grand gesture displays that are merely distractions and short-term oriented? Get back to basics. Focus on the most important strategies. And stop beating around the bush. Just drag the stupid branch already.

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