“I know a girl whose one goal was to visit Rome/
Then she finally got to Rome/
And all she did was post pictures for people at home/
‘Cause all that mattered was impressin’ everybody she’s known”
Drake, Emotionless
Beyond the Quote (223/365)
Happiness is only real when shared. That’s the last thing that Chris McCandless wrote before he died in the movie, Into The Wild. (Warning: More spoilers ahead) Based on a true story, the main character, after getting accepted into Law School, decided he wanted to pursue an alternate path and donated all of his college money to charity, bought a cheap car, and drove out west in pursuit of a remote life in Alaska. He wanted to travel, explore, and live completely free from conformity.
After a wild adventure throughout the U.S. and after crossing paths with many unique individuals, he finally made it to the outskirts of Alaska and started building his self-sufficient, remote home in the wilderness. He made it work for some time, but ultimately ended up getting trapped in the wild and died from food poisoning. Right before he passed, his final reflection as expressed in his journal was, happiness is only real when shared.
This made quite a profound impact on me and made me question my own motives for travel. Was I doing it for me or was I doing it for the socials like Drake pointed out above? And this thought diffused into other areas of my life as well. What was the intention behind anything that I was doing?
Was I sharing pictures of myself so that I could get dopamine hit boosts to my confidence? Was I sharing the adventures I was going on to impress others who didn’t have the same freedom I did? Was I sharing pictures with friends to show how much I was liked and how much fun I was having? What was the real motive behind any of it? Was what I was doing making me happy in and of itself, or was it a means to an end? Was I really only ever doing what I was doing for the sharing? It’s a tough question to confront and explore.
And then there’s the deeper question to explore: Is it possible to manifest happiness alone? In my estimation, I would say short-term, yes, long-term, rarely. The reason I feel this way is because in my own experience, I can be perfectly content and happy on my own, doing my own thing, for several days at a time. But, as it goes—as I think it goes for all of us social creatures—I eventually find myself yearning for connection. I want to talk to others, share experiences, dissect problems, get new perspectives, and celebrate victories. Alone, you start to wonder what it’s all worth and question reality.
I, of course, can’t speak for everybody. Some, I imagine can find great happiness in solitude and isolation. But, my instinct tells me that there’s a reason solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments we have in our justice system. But, then again, there is a difference between “confinement” and “freely choosing.” Furthermore, how does this question fare out when looking at introverts versus extroverts? It certainly plays a role.
Now, the intention behind this post isn’t to confuse. Rather, it’s an exploration behind our motives. Why do you really want to travel to Rome? Why do you really want to post that selfie? Why do you really want to vacation in that exotic destination? Is it because it’s going to fulfill something deeper inside of you or because you’re trying to impress everybody you know? And so it is for every other action/ decision/ post in life.
Impressing others or “showing off,” as Bruce Lee would say, is the fools idea of glory. Maybe we should spend less time trying to show off the highlights of our lives and more time trying to genuinely connect with those whom we share life with? Maybe instead of showing off everything we own and get to do, maybe we should spend more time sharing what we own and helping others get the opportunity “to do,” too? And maybe, just maybe, if we did that, we can start to shift the landscape of the conversation away from luxury, exotics, and privilege, to vulnerability, insight, and connection?
Read Next: 13 Pico Iyer Quotes from The Art of Stillness to Inspire Your Next Trip to… Nowhere?
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