Don’t Fix Me. Love Me For What Is Broken.

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Excerpt: There is such a thing as trying to do too much. Your intentions may be good, but your actions are what leave an imprint. Don’t fix me, love me for what is broken.

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Don’t fix me. For only I can manage what is broken. You are on the outside and only I can see what is inside. But, it can be dark in here. Fixing happens better in the light. Love me for what is broken. Appreciate me for what I have endured. Be there for me when I am feeling unfixable. And your light will shine through so that I can see. Your warm, quiet presence does more than your overstepping, controlling force.

Don’t judge me. For I am only trying to figure it out. What I have experienced in my life, you will never completely understand. And these feelings that I have are potent, confusing, and misleading. I am doing my best to sort it out, but I am traveling through fog. I will make wrong turns. I may bump, skid, and even crash. And I will fail to see what you see because I do not have your eyes. Stop trying to see for me and start trying to see as me. Feeling understood does more than being told to understand.

Don’t solve me. For I am not a puzzle that has one solution. I am forever changing and in constant flux. Even in the matter of one moment I am no longer the same person. My problems in life are always changing, evolving, evaporating, and re-appearing—and so are yours. We are two shape-shifters looking into each other and trying to describe how the other looks. What’s the point? I do not need you to tell me who I am. I need you to accept and appreciate me for the mess that I will always be.

Don’t save me. Unless, I am in immediate danger, then yes, please save me. But, if you are trying to save me from everything that you see as a danger for my life from your perspective—don’t. It’s not your life to live. It is mine and life is full of dangers. I am not a damsel in constant distress, I am a human in constant eustress. I do not want to be seen as weak, I want to be treated as I am: strong. A feeling of trust and confidence does more than a feeling of hesitation and worry.

Don’t give up on me. Like you, I have no idea what I am doing most of the time. I constantly question my decisions and replay scenarios in my head every which way. Sometimes I worry that if I had done this or I had chosen to do that, things would be different—things would be better. But, what happened before is what happened before. I can never know for sure and I cannot go back in time. What I do know is that I am doing the best I can, with what I have, where I am. We all are. Even though, many times, it sure as hell doesn’t look or feel like it. I hope you don’t lose hope in me.

If there’s one thing you can do for me it is this, free me of the conditions you place on your love and love me for who I am. What I want is to be loved, accepted, heard, seen, thought of, and understood. Not fixed, judged, solved, saved, or treated as hopeless. Your intentions may be good, but your actions are what leave an imprint. There is such a thing as trying to do too much. Don’t become my crutch. Don’t become my critic. Don’t become my hero. Become my light instead.

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