Claire Wineland Quote on Challenges and How To Keep Moving Forward When You Feel Stuck

“I’m not stuck in this belief that challenges are given to us to hold us back.  I am lifted up by the belief that challenges are here to help us move forwards—and that is the difference.  That is the only difference between people who are living a passionate, proud life and people who feel sad—or people who get older and feel like they don’t know what they’re doing anymore.”

Claire Wineland (15), TEDxMalibu

Beyond the Quote (342/365)

When you feel stuck in your life it’s because you’ve reached a limit; you’ve hit a wall; you’ve arrived at a boundary; you’ve reached an edge in your understanding. And you can’t pass until you figure out a way to scale the wall; cross the boundary; and/or explore what’s beyond those limits. Figure out being the key phrase in that sentence. Being stuck is a problem to be solved—not a permanent state of being. It involves critical thinking, research and reflection, trial and error, conversation, and more. And while this all may sound obvious, it certainly isn’t common practice.

Figuring out means work. Problems mean work. Critical thinking means work. And many times, it means hard, emotional, painful work. So, naturally, we avoid the walls; settle within our boundaries; and accept that our understanding is what it is. We become complacent and adopt “stuck” as our way of life because, frankly, it’s easier than the alternatives. And so long as we continue to choose that is so long as we will continue to live our lives the way we have been living them.

If you’re sick of being stuck with the same problems in life, then you need to stop trying to solve them from the same level of thinking that you were the last time you tried. You need to figure out a way to level up and expand your thinking. To which you might reply, “Easy for you to say.” And fair enough. I can’t pretend to know the extent and intensity of your problems. But, what I do know is that the same thinking will produce the same answers which will produce the same results—time and time again. How can it be any different?

And of course, you might feel frustrated with this because what the hell else do I think you’ve been doing? Obviously, you’ve been trying to grow, improve, confront, and overcome your life problems (right?). Yet, maybe you still continued getting the same “stuck” results. And maybe, after several attempts, you simply realized that the pain of trying was too great compared to the pain of settling. And so, settling may have been the lesser of two pains and the ultimate compromise.

Which is understandable. Again, who am I to say otherwise? I don’t know your pain. And sometimes settling IS a valid way to lessen the pain of your life—who could question that? But, it’s also only going to keep you living the same life you’re living. It’s not the way forward. It won’t lead you to your best life. And what I’d like to offer you is a reminder for when you’re ready to try again: the obstacle is the way—it is the only way. And while you might feel like the lesser of two pains is your only option, it’s not. Staying stuck doesn’t have to be the end of your story.

The first step you have to take in order to walk that path—the path towards healing, overcoming, and growing—is admitting that you don’t know the answers to the problems you’re facing and that you need help figuring them out. And don’t you brush this off as being stupid, obvious, or unhelpful. Because that, in and of itself, is a sign that this step is quite possibly the one that’s holding you back the most! How? Because thinking that asking for help is a weakness or anything less than a positive step forward means you have an ego issue. And remember this: ego loves being stuck.

Your ego will tell you that you don’t need help. Your ego will tell you that you’re smart enough to figure everything out on your own. Your ego will tell you that the life you’re living is the life you’ve been dealt. But, your ego is wrong. About all of those things. Your ego hates changes, loves comfort, and will tell you whatever you need to hear to keep it that way. The problem, of course, is that removing a person’s ego is a step that many people’s egos simply won’t let happen. Which is precisely why they stay stuck for as long as they do—sometimes even for life.

How do you overcome the ego? You have to admit that you don’t know. That you barely know anything. That you still have a crap-ton to learn—in all areas of life. And you can’t just read this and expect it to be the same as a confession that comes from within. Those are my words that you read. You need to admit this to yourself in your own words. You need to write down the problems in your life that you’ve been avoiding, suppressing, and feeling stuck from and admit that you don’t know the answer. You have to admit that you need help figuring the answers out. And you have to mean it. Because that’s the only way the magic happens.

All of a sudden, you start to see doors where only walls once were. Keys where only locks once were. Friends where only strangers once were. You start to see the world through a different lens and in response, the world will start to respond to you from a different lens. It’s hard to describe to you the fundamental truth in this so I’m going to ask that you simply trust me on this one. It’s almost as though you start to embody a new level of humility, gratitude, and eagerness that wasn’t once there. Your body language loosens up. And your heart starts to melt and open up to the people around you.

And what does all of this lead to? Easy answers? Magic solutions? Is this the law of attraction handing over the way through life for you? Nope. It will simply lead you to humbly pick up a damn book and finally read from people who have faced similar problems. It will allow you to approach people with an open mind rather than a closed one so you can actually soak in their insight and advice. It will allow you to finally write about everything that you’re feeling so you can feel the relief and unburdening that comes with that process. And slowly, slowly, you will start to surmount the “insurmountable.”

Your knowledge of scaling walls will improve. Your boundaries will naturally expand. Your understanding of the world and the problems contained within it will naturally broaden and you will be better equipped to solve them. And not just the problems of today—but, the problems of tomorrow, too. And the day after that. You will be a new person. Your abilities to find your way through obstacles will be elevated and improved. You will no longer be stuck where you once were. And you will be more ready for what comes next.

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