6 Behind-The-Scenes Brandon Stanton Quotes from Humans on Struggle and Connection

---

Excerpt: Brandon Stanton’s new book, Humans, is a masterpiece. These quotes from Humans give a behind-the-scenes look at how he works and thinks.

---

---

Introduction: How We Connect As Humans

We relate to the challenges of other people much more than we relate to their victories. This is the oversight with always wanting to show off. It might make people envy you, but it doesn’t allow people to easily connect with you. If anything, it creates a larger disconnect between where they are and where you portray yourself to be. As Brandon points out below, it’s our struggles that connect us, not our victories.

Victories might give us moments that we can share, but they’re typically one-sided. It’s a celebration of another individual and what they’ve done. When one person reaches a goal or accomplishes a victory, others can share in that moment and be happy for them, but they’re not connected in that victory—unless they were a part of the process that got them there.

It’s one thing to congratulate someone for graduating from college and a completely different thing to congratulate someone for graduating from college whom you’ve fought for/with—tooth and nail—to help get to that point. The connection isn’t made in the achievement alone, the connection is made in the overcoming of the challenges to get to that achievement together.

This is why “bandwagon” sports fans always take so much heat from “true” sports fans. Bandwagon fans like supporting the teams that are winning—they’re flaky. True fans support their teams regardless of their record—they’re solid. And it’s from the shared experience of being there for your team when they’re down in the dirt, supporting them (and your fellow true fans) as they get back up, and cheering for them just as strong at all of their games that gives true fans the passion—the connection—that bandwagon fans will always lack.

Bruce Lee once said, “Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.” And it’s because showing off, gloating, “flexing on,” acting arrogant towards, chasing “flaky” wins, only disconnects you further and further from the people around you. And where’s the glory in being talented, but alone? Where’s the achievement in being a high achiever, but without anyone to celebrate passionately with? Where’s the legacy in a room full of trophies and plaques, that’s empty of friends and family to connect the stories and adversities behind them?

Living this type of “show off” lifestyle can quickly become lonely. And how do talented/ high achieving people deal with that loneliness? In many cases, the only way they know how—by showing off to gather more envy and superficial praise to feel some kind of connection again. Which, of course, is temporary and fleeting because it isn’t connection through struggle—and it merely starts the cycle all over again.

This is a reminder that it’s okay to share your pain. It’s okay to be imperfect, to struggle, and to ask for help. And it’s okay to use conversations, phones, and social media for reasons other than sharing victories, achievements, and highlights. In fact, it’s precisely “highlight reel” culture that is at the root of so many problems with connection in our modern world. Why? Because people are trying to connect by showing off, gloating, and/or impressing everyone they know. But, as we’ve already discussed, this isn’t how we connect.

We connect through struggle. We relate to pain. We empathize with imperfection. In fact, if you think about those whom you feel most connected to—via social media or life in general—it’s likely for the very reason that they’ve shared their pains, challenges, and struggles with you. And from those vulnerable, real, authentic posts/ moments, we not only see them for who they really are, but we’re able to see ourselves—our vulnerable, real, authentic selves—in them.

---

The List: 6 Behind-The-Scenes Brandon Stanton Quotes from Humans on Struggle and Connection

What I love most about Brandon Stanton’s work is how beautifully he shatters perception. I can feel the “shattering” happen on almost every single page and post that I read of his. I look at the picture, form an instantaneous judgement about the person and who I assume them to be, and then read their story and have that judgement broken down almost completely. It’s truly remarkable.

What’s more is that he doesn’t taint the stories with his own perspectives nor does he curate them to communicate any type of pointed or specific message. The stories feel real and diverse. The sampling of people feels random. The struggles open your eyes and connect your heart. And the book as a whole give the reader a wonderful sense of both our diversity and unity. Diverse in our perceptions and appearances, but united in our struggles and challenges.

What I found to be particularly interesting about these quotes from Humans gathered for you below is that Brandon shares his process and gives readers a look at how he captures such raw stories and pictures from such complete strangers. If you haven’t seen his work before, his blog Humans of New York comes highly recommended and his new book, Humans, in my opinion, is a masterpiece. I couldn’t put it down once I started. I hope you enjoy these behind-the-scenes quotes from Humans and I would love to hear what you think of Brandon’s work (and these quotes) in the comment section at the end! Enjoy!

---

“It’s amazing how people transform when they realize you’re not a threat. They become much more relatable. More familiar. More recognizable. Big cities can feel so isolating because we rarely get past this point with people. Everyone is hiding behind their shield. They’re on guard at all times. At least until the end of the day, when they get back home, around people they love and trust, and suddenly become themselves again.”

Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 24)

---

“If our shields are what separate us, it’s what’s behind them that brings us together: the struggles, the worries, the pain, the weakness. All the soft spots. The places we protect. These are the things that make us most relatable to others. These are the things that connect us—if only we allow them to be seen.”

Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 25)

---

“Our struggles connect us. We relate to the challenges of other people much more than we relate to their victories. We empathize with pain much more than joy. The moment we truly see ourselves in another person is when we realize that we’ve felt the exact same pain.”

Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 278)

---

“There’s an old cliché that ‘everyone has a story,’ but there’s a reason it’s a cliché. Every person has a story because everyone has a struggle. The heart of a story is the struggle—the obstacle that has been faced, and hopefully overcome. It can be an obvious physical feat, like climbing a mountain or rescuing someone from drowning. It can be a mental battle: like depression, or addiction, or schizophrenia. It can be comedic or tragic. But none of these particular elements are the reason that struggles are crucial to a story. Struggles are crucial because they’re transformative. Struggles change people. And a well-told story merely follows the arc of that transformation.”

Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 277)

---

“The most reputable [news] outlets entertain their audience with the truth. They tell true stories. But even then, they know that it’s not the truth that generates profits—it’s always the stories. Stories keep us tuned in. Stories sell newspapers. Stories get clicks. Yes, truth matters. But when it comes to the bottom line, journalism isn’t a truth business. It’s a story business.”

Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 177)

---

“Despite having interviewed thousands of people, I still learn something new from each person I meet. Everyone has a unique expertise. The quickest way to find a person’s expertise is by learning their struggle. What they’ve battled. What they’ve carried with them the longest. Because it’s what they’ve thought about the most.”

Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 278)

---

To read the actual stories, you’ll have to pick up a copy of Brandon’s book and read it for yourself. To share the quotes from Humans without the accompanying pictures or layout didn’t feel right. But, rest assured, it’s well worth the purchase: