Beyond the Quote

Will Smith Quote from Collateral Beauty on How We’re Here to Connect.

“We’re here to connect. Love, time, death. Now these three things connect every single human being on earth. We long for love, we wish we had more time and we fear death.”
Howard Inlet (Will Smith), Collateral Beauty

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If I take a piece of paper and I draw a line down the center of it, you might say that it’s divided. You might say there is a left side and a right side. But, a simple line doesn’t change the fact that the sides are still part of the paper. They are not suddenly separate entities unto themselves—they are still a part of a whole. If I rip the paper down that line, you might say that the paper is now divided for sure. But, even if you were to rip the paper 1,000 times, each piece is still united in its essence—that it’s paper. From one perspective, division; from the other perspective, unity—even in the face of division.

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.”
Viktor Frankl, Brain Pickings

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For those who are trying to influence greatness in others I suggest this: don’t demand greatness; create the environment for greatness and let greatness flower as it may. Of course when you take the time to plant a seed, you want it to flower to its full potential—to become the greatest flower it has the potential to be. After all, you’re investing all of this time and energy into preparing its soil, watering it daily, protecting it from leaf-eating predators, and ensuring it has bountiful access to sunlight. Nobody wants to invest all of that time and energy into a seed that fails to flower to its full potential.

Charles De Gaulle Quote on Being Great Only If We Are Determined To Be So

“Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so.”
Charles De Gaulle

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To be great, at the very least—as a bottom-line minimum requirement—you have to decide to be great. And you can’t just want to be great—it has to be a decision. Deciding and wanting are not one and the same. To decide is to have made up your mind. It means you’ve reviewed all of the alternative options and consequences in your head and you’ve come to a conclusion. It represents a clear starting point that can be followed with clear and aligning actions.

Martin Luther King Quote on Light vs. Darkness and Love vs. Hate

“Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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Darkness is not something you battle. It’s not something you fight. It’s not something you can punch, kick, hit, push, shove, or choke. For darkness takes no form. It has no body. It takes no shape. It’s not something that will ever submit. Darkness is an absence—an absence of light. And the only way to combat an absence is with a presence.

“To me, to be blissful is the greatest courage. To be miserable is very cowardly. In fact to be miserable, nothing is needed. Any coward can do it, any fool can do it. Everybody is capable of being miserable, but to be blissful, great courage is needed—it is an uphill task.”
Osho, Courage (Page 60)

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In our entire history we have never been more comfortable, more connected, and more safe than we are today and yet, happiness seems to be as far away as it ever has been. Why is that? Shouldn’t the technological advances, ease of access, and revolutions in connection increase our levels of happiness exponentially—or at least place it significantly closer? Intuitively speaking, it feels like they should, right? What gives?

“Reading can teach you the best of what others already know. Reflection can teach you the best of what only you can know.”
James Clear

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And if you’re not doing either, where is it that everything you know is coming from? From social media? From click-bait websites? From news conglomerates? Or maybe from friends and family members? But, where then are they getting their knowledge from? From those same sources? The question you have to ask yourself is, how does the quality of this information compare to the quality of the information that might be obtained from reading and reflecting? I suspect that it may not only be substantially below in quality, but of little to no quality at all. I suspect that it’s a no comparison.

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”
Tony Robbins

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This young man was told he wouldn’t be able to attend his Martial Arts tournament because he was exposed to someone who tested positive for COVID-19. He was told he would be quarantining at home for 2 weeks instead. But, rather than miss the tournament altogether, the team who orchestrated the tournament offered him and his family a virtual option instead. The family agreed.

“Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more.”
A. Lou Vickery

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Doing what is expected of you is already a step ahead of many. Many people aren’t disciplined, focused, motivated, or committed enough to do even that—they fall short for various reasons. Whether it be bad habits, distractions, lack of will, or even just a carelessness—completing all of the tasks that are presented to them can be demanding enough. However, with the proper external motivations, systems, and consequences in place, most people can manage to do at least the minimum of what is expected of them and are usually good to settle with that. But, doing just what is expected of you isn’t what’s going to get you ahead.

“You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous. You cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence, courage comes first and everything else follows.”
Osho, Courage (Page xiii)

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The good news is that courage can be learned—it’s not something that you either have or you don’t. It’s something that can be improved upon from whatever level it is currently at. Courage is not fearlessness. It is not an absence of fear. It is not only grand, heroic gestures and actions. Courage is simply the ability to act in spite of fear. And since everybody’s fear levels are different and everybody has exercised their “courage muscles” differently throughout their lives, everybody’s courage should be expected to be called upon differently as well.

“The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth. It is obvious that man is himself a traveler; that the purpose of this world is not ‘to have and to hold’ but ‘to give and to serve.’ There can be no other meaning.”
Sir Wilfred T. Grenfell

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How could the purpose of the world be ‘to have and to hold’ if nothing that we have and nothing that we hold onto will come with us at the end of our lives? It will all be left behind—every prized possession, every luxury, and every dollar. What could possibly be the purpose of hoarding it all from one part of the world to your part of the world? It will simply be hauled from your part, back, when you die. It seems futile when you really think about it.

“When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. No is a choice. Yes is a responsibility.”
James Clear, Blog

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This goes out to everybody who has a hard time saying, “No.“ Sure, saying no can be hard when you’re talking to a friend, family member, coworker, or even acquaintance. I get it. You don’t want to let the people you care about down. You don’t want to disappoint or upset those who ask you for a favor. You don’t want things to get awkward. But, as Clear points out above, what’s important to understand is that saying yes isn’t free of consequence in itself. It means you are saying no to every other option instead.

“Your competition isn’t other people. Your competition is your procrastination. Your ego. The unhealthy food you’re consuming, the knowledge you neglect. The negative behavior you’re nurturing and your lack of creativity. Compete against that.”
Unknown

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Your competition is your previous self. It always was and always will be. You can choose to compete against other people, but ultimately, it should only be used as a tool to better compete against who you were yesterday. What place you get or how you end up compared to others should always be mentally discarded.

“Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”
Samuel Ullman, Youth

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Forget about your age already. Who cares what your number is? Why live your life according to the number of times you’ve traveled around the sun? Once you’ve reached adulthood, that number of sun revolutions is arbitrary. 25 Times? 40 Times? 60 Times? What of it?

“What I had been taught all my life was not true: experience is not the best teacher! Some people learn and grow as a result of their experience; some people don’t. Everybody has some kind of experience. It’s what you do with that experience that matters.”
John C. Maxwell, Leadership Gold

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“Experience is the best teacher” works when you’re talking about touching a hot stove. I can describe to you the feeling of getting burned with conviction, give you examples, and use sound logic until I’m blue in the face—it still won’t compare to what you come to understand when you touch the hot stove. The same is true when we’re talking about swimming. I can teach you all of the best strokes, floating strategies, and swimming techniques in the field—it still won’t compare to what you learn by actually being in the water.

“How can anyone feel complete when they only ever accept a fraction of themselves?”
Leslie Ralph, Tiny Buddha

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Many people try and fill the “holes” in their lives with another person. The “holes” being fears, doubts, insecurities, and traumas that might have been a part of their past that leave them feeling un-whole. Like parts of them are missing. Like there are voids that they can’t quite figure out or understand. Like only “half” of a person who needs another “half” to feel completed. But, there are two problems with this way of thinking.

“What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.”
Carl Sagan, Cosmos

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Breaking the shackles of time? Getting to curiously peer inside the mind of another human being? Communicating with people who have long since passed away? Well, when you put it like that, how could you NOT believe in magic? These little “flat objects” containing “funny dark squiggles” are nothing short of astonishing and are some of the most uniquely magical objects that you might ever find grasped within the palms of your two hands. Carl Sagan makes a convincing case.

“We all have a bag. We all pack differently. Some of us are traveling light. Some of us are secret hoarders who’ve never parted with a memory in our lives. I think we are all called to figure out how to carry our bag to the best of our ability, how to unpack it, and how to face the mess. I think part of growing up is learning how to sit down on the floor with all your things and figuring out what to take with you and what to leave behind.”
Hannah Brencher

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Part of me loves this idea. Just sit down on the floor, unpack all of the memories, feelings, and experiences and figure out what to take and what to leave behind. Sounds great, doesn’t it? We could all just pack up our bags with all of the good and take all of the “bad” to the curb and part with it forever. But, as great as it sounds, the other part of me knows that it isn’t that easy.

“You cannot transform the world without transforming the individual.”
Sadhguru, Inner Engineering (Page 262)

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Just like you cannot transform a wall without transforming each individual brick. Or a football team without transforming each of the individual players. Or a relationship without transforming each of the individual actions. What most people miss, in my opinion, is the immediate opportunity in exchange for a grandiose vision. Our opportunity to change the world is right in front of our faces every day, but so many of us are too busy thinking about how we can change the whole world and are doing nothing instead.

“I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.”
Pearl S. Buck

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How to let your mind know that it has to get down to work? The answer isn’t as obvious as it might seem. You might think, it’s your mind and your mind is in your control, right? But, why then can’t you just tell your mind to “get down to work” and be done with it? Why is so much of what we have to get done always such a fight? Why can’t we just do what we need to do automatically? And the answer, as far as I can see it, is that control over your mind is something that has to be earned—it’s never just given.

“You cannot be partying till early morning and attempt to scale Mount Everest tomorrow!”
Sadhguru, Inner Engineering (Page 223)

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We all have an “Everest” in our lives. A challenge that surpasses all of the other challenges we could face and yet, excites us to our core. A challenge that we know is going to take every ounce of strength and vigor and focus that we have and yet, still entices us to step forward. A challenge that feels right. One which our whole lives have prepared us for and one that matches our drive to our potential; our talents to our interests; our aptitude to our attitude. The type of challenge that you would skip a full night of partying for because your mission is more important to you.