“If you want to make every day an adventure, all you have to do is prioritize adventure. It has to become more important than routine.”
Chris Guillebeau, The Happiness of Pursuit
Reflections from my spontaneous holiday road trip, now that I’m home:
“Adventure is curiosity, the willingness to embrace uncertainty, wondering about the possibility of doing just one thing differently than before.”
Bruce Kirby
One beautiful thing about exploring is that it connects you to the present. For a few wonderful moments you forget about your problems and future concerns. Curiosity leads you. Intuition kicks in. You notice details and sounds and smells that might otherwise get overlooked and unheard and disregarded.
Read More »Bruce Kirby Quote on How Adventure is Curiosity“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.”
Neil Gaiman
With a new year comes an opportunity for a fresh start. Of course, we can choose to start fresh whenever we want—the opportunity is always only one decision away. But, when the clock strikes midnight and the year switches over, it feels only natural to begin anew with the great reset of time on our calendars. And if you can align yourself with this great renewing, like a surfer aligning themselves with the coming of a great wave, then you may be able to enjoy a great ride of momentum heading into your new year.
Read More »Neil Gaiman Quote on the New Year and How He Hopes You Make Mistakes“Our struggles connect us. We relate to the challenges of other people much more than we relate to their victories. We empathize with pain much more than joy. The moment we truly see ourselves in another person is when we realize that we’ve felt the exact same pain.”
Brandon Stanton, Humans (Page 278)
This is the oversight with always wanting to show off. It might make people envy you, but it doesn’t allow people to easily connect with you. If anything, it creates a larger disconnect between where they are and where you portray yourself to be. As Brandon points out above, it’s our struggles that connect us, not our victories.
Read More »Brandon Stanton Quote on Connection and How We Connect Through Struggles More Than Victories“Karma isn’t fate. Nor is it a punishment imposed on us by some external agent. We create our own karma. Karma is the result of the choices that we make every moment of every day.”
Tulku Thondup
Karma is real. Maybe I can’t describe it in a metaphysical sense, but I can certainly describe it from a common sensical, sense. When somebody texts me asking if I want a coffee while they’re at the café—I can promise you it makes me want to text them when I’m at the café next. When somebody brings in food for me, just because—it makes me think about getting food for them on a random, “just because,” day, too. When somebody does a favor for me, it leaves me feeling grateful and in their debt—which makes me want to return a favor. Karma, undoubtedly, returns.
Read More »Tulku Thondup Quote on Karma and How We Create Our Own Karma—It Isn’t Fate“People come to me, they always say, ‘The other is not loving me.’ Nobody comes and says, ‘I am not loving the other.’ Love has become a demand: ‘The other is not loving me.’ Forget about the other! Love is such a beautiful phenomenon, if you love you will enjoy. And the more you love, the more you become lovable. The less you love and the more you demand that other should love you, the less and less you are lovable, the more and more you become closed, confined to your ego.”
Osho, Courage (Page 67)
Do for others that which you most want done for yourself. I cannot think of better advice for anyone who is looking to improve the relationships in their lives. The overwhelming majority seem to default to blaming and criticizing rather than relating and empathizing. You don’t often hear people say things like, “What am I doing wrong?” “How can I better love the other?” “How might I improve the way I treat them?” It is more often than not things like, “Look at all of these things they are doing wrong!” “Listen to all of these reasons on how they are not loving me!” “Let me vent to you about how poorly they are treating me.”
Read More »Osho Quote on Relationships and How The More You Love, The More You Become Lovable“If we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life, and your future, because my priority right now is me and mine. Finding happiness and security alone is crucial to finding it together.”
~ Steven Bartlett
Want to know the secret to a happy relationship? Two happy people. Not two dependent people who are constantly negging each other for attention/ validation/ reassurance. Not two people who are constantly placing expectations on the other person to fulfill. Not two people who are so scared to be alone that they demand the other person be in every single faucet of their lives. And definitely not two people who are trying to use the other for selfish gains. The secret is being happy first—as an individual—and then sharing that happiness with the other.
Read More »Steven Bartlett Quote on Dating and How We Should Keep Ourselves As The First Priority“Success is never due to one thing, but failure can be. Sleeping well won’t make you successful, but not sleeping enough will hold you back. Hard work is rarely enough without good strategy, but even the best strategy is useless without hard work. Many things are necessary, but not sufficient for success.”
James Clear, Blog
Not all hard work is created equally. For some, specific kinds of “hard work” aligns with strengths, aptitudes, potentials, and interests. For others, that same “hard work” might call upon weaknesses. Even if the “hard work” that was tasked was the same, it wouldn’t have the same net result on the individual. It would cause a drastic difference in the amount of time, energy, and effort required. And if you want to optimize your time, energy, and effort in your life—then you should start by optimizing the type of “hard work” that you choose to do for this very reason.
Read More »James Clear Quote on Hard Work and How Not All Hard Work Is Created Equally“Being gifted doesn’t mean you’ve been given something. It means, you have something to give.”
Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You
The question is, will you give it? Or, maybe better yet, do you even know what your gift is? My belief is that we all have a gift. And while you might hesitate at that thought and think to yourself, “Does he even know who he’s talking to? I’m the least gifted person I know”—I stand firmly in my position. Even if you think to yourself about how gifted and talented you already know you are—that isn’t exactly what I’m talking about—I’m talking about a specific gift.
Read More »Iain Thomas Quote on Being Gifted and What That Really Means“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
Stephen King
What happens when you read? Your eyes scan, decode, and lift symbols off pages and implants the information contained into your brain. It’s essentially the same process that a computer follows when it downloads new software/ updates. And as it’s true with computers, the information that’s downloaded/ implanted into our minds may either contain updates/improvements or infections/malware. This is why, just as you have to be very careful with what you download onto your computer, you have to be just as careful (if not more) about what you download into your brain.
Read More »Stephen King Quote on the Relationship Between Reading and Writing“I’m not stuck in this belief that challenges are given to us to hold us back. I am lifted up by the belief that challenges are here to help us move forwards—and that is the difference. That is the only difference between people who are living a passionate, proud life and people who feel sad—or people who get older and feel like they don’t know what they’re doing anymore.”
Claire Wineland (15), TEDxMalibu
When you feel stuck in your life it’s because you’ve reached a limit; you’ve hit a wall; you’ve arrived at a boundary; you’ve reached an edge in your understanding. And you can’t pass until you figure out a way to scale the wall; cross the boundary; and/or explore what’s beyond those limits. Figure out being the key phrase in that sentence. Being stuck is a problem to be solved—not a permanent state of being. It involves critical thinking, research and reflection, trial and error, conversation, and more. And while this all may sound obvious, it certainly isn’t common practice.
Read More »Claire Wineland Quote on Challenges and How To Keep Moving Forward When You Feel Stuck“The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success.”
Brian Tracy
The ability to delay gratification—to resist an immediate reward in preference for a greater future reward—has been proven to be an accurate predictor of a person’s long-term success. In other words, it’s almost always a good idea. After all, a greater reward sounds better than a smaller reward, even if it is a little later, eh? But, at the same point, should gratification always be delayed? Wouldn’t pushing what you desire out into the future cause you a certain level of discontent/ unhappiness, too? How does that discontent/ unhappiness in the short-term measure up?
Read More »Brian Tracy Quote on Delaying Gratification and How It’s An Indispensable Prerequisite for Success“I don’t fix problems, I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.”
Louise Hay
Life isn’t easy—for any of us. I think we all can agree on that. If so, it can be assumed that life is hard—for all of us. Now, we can never know for sure how “hard” life is or isn’t for another person. We can only ever judge another person’s life from the outside looking in, which is an INCREDIBLY limited and superficial perspective. Of course, if someone is homeless or without basic necessities for survival, there are assumptions of “hard” that we can validly make. But, when it comes to judging the other people around us, how a person’s life appears to be and how their life actually is should never be assumed to be the same thing.
Read More »Louise Hay Quote on Problems and How They Fix Themselves When We Fix Our Thinking
“Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.
Unknown
Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard.
Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard.
Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard.
Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.”
We’re wired to follow the path of least resistance. But, choosing to do what’s easy now doesn’t last. In fact, in almost every case, it only makes life harder later. It’s the principle of delayed gratification (more on this below).
So, while life can be easier from choosing the easier options, the truth is, it’s only a temporary easier. Experiencing the “hard” in life is not a matter of if, but a matter of when. And take heed, hard now and hard later are not created equal.
Read More »Choose Your Hard“The most profound personal growth does not happen while reading a book or meditating on a mat. It happens in the throes of conflict—when you are angry, afraid, frustrated. It happens when you are doing the same old thing and you suddenly realize that you have a choice.”
Vironika Tugaleva
Whenever you find yourself angry, frustrated, upset, or otherwise losing your cool, it helps to ask yourself: What state of mind is going to help me get through this in the most ideal way? I know, I know. Who is going to seriously ask themselves that question when they’re pissed off? It’s almost comical to think about someone who is about to blow their gasket—pausing—and asking themselves, “What state of mind is going to help me get through this in the most ideal way?” But, as comical as it sounds, within the framework of that question is a profound personal growth opportunity.
Read More »Vironika Tugaleva Quote on Conflict and How It Can Lead To the Most Profound Personal Growth“Leadership Law: Think of the reaction that you want first, then determine the actions you can take to maximize the chances that those reactions will actually happen.”
J. Keith Murnighan, Do Nothing!
When working with others, this type of premeditative thinking is foundational for influencing the performance you desire. It’s reverse engineering for leadership. Rather than react the way you feel and hope it influences the behavior change you desire after-the-fact, you flip that thought process on its head and think about how you want the other person to react and engineer the best actions you can take to get them there. It’s thinking then acting rather than acting then thinking—which is almost always a better idea.
Read More »J. Keith Murnighan Quote on Leadership and The Importance of Thinking Before Acting“Our possessions possess us. All the things I owned kept the back of my mind activated. I used to sit around and feel weighted down by all the stuff in my life. I’d worry about everything I had, thinking ‘I’ve got this much, so now I need more – I need to level it out: I have the TV, so I need the DVD player; I have the garage, so I need a nice car to fill it; I have this, so I need that.’ It’s a never-ending cycle, a cold war with yourself.”
Colin Wright, via Everything That Remains
You know that feeling you get when you’re too excited to focus on anything else except for the thing that you’re excited about? Yeah, that was me a few days ago as I rushed home to unbox the new phone that had finally been delivered. I knew that I had responsibilities that needed responding to, but I decided to let the excitement sweep me away instead. Or maybe it just swept me away and I like to pretend that I “let” it. None-the-less, right as I was unboxing my new phone and getting everything set up, lo and behold, what happens next? My computer breaks down.
Read More »Colin Wright Quote on Possessions and How They Possess Us If We’re Not Careful“Those who are courageous, they go headlong. They search all opportunities of danger. Their life philosophy is not that of insurance companies. Their life philosophy is that of a mountain climber, a glider, a surfer. And not only in the outside seas they surf; they surf in their innermost seas. And not only on the outside they climb Alps and Himalayas; they seek inner peaks.”
Osho, Courage (Page 119)
What’s most interesting to me is how deeply connected both types of adventuring are. It is very similar to the connection between breathing in and breathing out. Adventuring on the outside is the expansion of the lungs—it is the breathing in of all that the world has to offer. Adventuring on the inside is the contraction of the lungs—it is the breathing out of all that you have inhaled and synthesized from your experiences. One leads to the other and the other leads to more of the one.
Read More »Osho Quote on Living With Courage and Exploring Both the Inner and Outer World
“The miracle is this: the more we share the more we have.”
Leonard Nimoy
Happy Thanks∙Giving. One of my favorite holidays where we give∙thanks. When you look closely at the name you’ll notice an important observation about thanks—it must be given. And from what I’ve learned about gratitude, I’d even go so far as to say that thanks is only real when it’s given. Thanks is not something that can be taken, nor is it something that can be arbitrarily absorbed. It isn’t something that manifests itself when we go through the motions of a feast or a gathering. And it isn’t something you just walk into. Thanks is something that must come through you.
Read More »Leonard Nimoy Quote on Sharing and the Miracle of Thanks∙Giving“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou
For as much as I work with quotes, you’d think I’d be better at remembering exactly what people said—I don’t. There are phrases, of course, that have stuck with me for one poignant or arbitrary reason or another, but I undoubtedly forget more than I remember. Heck, I can’t even quote myself for more than a few sentences! Think about the last time you tried to memorize a speech… how much of it could you memorize? Quoting is hard. People will (mostly) forget what you said.
Read More »Maya Angelou Quote on Legacy and What People Most Remember About You