Beyond the Quote

Humble the Poet Quote on Comparing Ourselves To Others (and Why That Can Be Dangerous)

“I was comparing myself to everyone and anyone I encountered. If I was making music and met a well-off stockbroker, my mind would ask, ‘Why aren’t you selling stocks?’ When money got better, but I met someone with a beautiful body, I’d ask, ‘Why aren’t you spending more time in the gym?’ I would identify all the gaps in my life on the basis of whomever I crossed paths with. That’s a dangerous thing because everyone we meet will always have something we don’t have.”
Humble the Poet, Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 121)

Beyond the Quote (77/365)

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who somebody else is today. As Humble mentions above, you’re going to meet people who have more money; who have more beautiful bodies; who are more popular; who are more intelligent than you. What you can’t do when you meet them is compare where you are on your journey to where they are on their journey.

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

Beyond the Quote (76/365)

Below, you will find an exchange between another person and I in regards to the quote above and the caption I put up for it. It’s a good exchange and there are elements that I think are worth elaborating on and discussing. Here is the exchange:

“At the end of the day, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.”
Rob Dyer

Beyond the Quote (74/365)

There is a lot happening right now that can make us feel like we’re being torn apart. With the threat and spread of the Coronavirus (COVID-19), there is more and more happening each day that is moving us further and further apart and into smaller and smaller groups (even into isolation). Everything from the biggest organizational gatherings in the world to the most remote meetings in our own backyard are being postponed and cancelled to prevent the spread of the virus. During this time when we are being forced apart physically, we need to find ways to continue to come together mentally and emotionally.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.”
Albert Einstein

Beyond the Quote (73/365)

In lieu of recent events, it seems as though many of us are going to be experiencing more monotony and solitude than we otherwise might have expected or wanted. And while, yes, the unknowns associated with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) are certainly nerve-wracking and have been demanding our full attention, if you find yourself in a position of isolation or solitude—rather than looking at it as a prison from exploring the outside world, why not try looking at it as an opportunity to explore the depths of your inside world?

“The one quick comment I would make has to do with this idea that we who live day-to-day with whatever [mental health] diagnosis we have are acting courageously or are brave to face the world. I don’t experience it as an act of courage or bravery; I experience it more as an act of defiance. When I swing my legs over the edge of the bed to face the day, what drives me is a refusal to lay back down; a defiance of the diagnosis. Defiance is often rooted in anger and I certainly feel and show that anger from time to time. People sometimes feel the anger is directed towards them—but it isn’t. Defiance is a strategy for engaging this thing. Of course defiance takes huge amounts of energy to sustain and of course, since I never actually will overcome this thing, that means that from time-to-time I need to back down; move away; rest. It’s like wrestling with a bear. Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear gets you. But that’s okay, because sometimes, you get the bear.”
Paul Hogan

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I do not have a mental health diagnosis and I, therefore, have never had to confront the challenges associated with having one. I have known people who have had them, my dad being one of them, and have witnessed the challenges first hand, but it has always been from the outside looking in. I know that it is an entirely different world from the outside looking in than it is from the inside looking out. But it is through our attempt to share, to the best of our ability, what the hell is going on from the inside looking out that we may ever gain insight and move forward in our own lives. After all, what is insight other than thoughts of value that are gained from peering into each other’s inner worlds? Insight is what illuminates the way.

“Sticking things out is overrated, particularly if you stick out the wrong things. In fact, I think you’d be much better off quitting most of what you do so you have the resources to get through the hard slog I call the Dip. The challenge, then, is to not quit in the Dip, but instead to quit everything else so you have the focus to get through the slog of what matters.”
Seth Godin, Whatcha Gonna Do With That Duck?

Beyond the Quote (71/365)

What should we stick out and what should we quit? I can tell you that the list of things we should stick out is far smaller than the list of things we should quit. And after some reflection, what you might find is that your list of things that you’ve been sticking out is WAY bigger than you might have imagined it to be and the things you SHOULD be sticking out might not even be making it to your daily to-do list at all. My instinct tells me that the follow 6 things are worth sticking out without explaination: Reading, Writing, Exercising, Meditating, Learning, and Connecting.

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.” ~ Vince Lombardi

Beyond the Quote (70/365)

I disagree. In fact, I believe that winners actually quit more than those who lose. The difference is that they know what to quit, when to quit, how to quit, and have the courage and discipline to do so. Of course, Lombardi is likely referring to the idea that winners never quit in pursuit of their primary goal(s) in life and those who do quit in pursuit of their primary goal(s) will never win at them—this might be obvious.

“Work is finding yourself alone at the track when the weather kept everyone else indoors. Work is pushing through the pain and crappy first drafts and prototypes. It is ignoring whatever plaudits others are getting, and more importantly, ignoring whatever plaudits you may be getting. Because there is work to be done. Work doesn’t want to be good. It is made so, despite the headwind.”
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy

Beyond the Quote (69/365)

Why do all of this work at all? Why show up when it’s raining and cold? Why push through writing tasks when Netflix is one click away? Why keep working when you’re getting praised and approved of for what you’ve already done? Why not stay indoors, become complacent, relax, and soak in the compliments you’ve already received? …Well, because that’s not how your best work comes to life—that’s why. And that task of bringing to life your best work, may be your most important calling on this earth.

“Maybe life isn’t about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it.”
Unknown

Beyond the Quote (67/365)

Good judgement comes from bad judgement remembered. Bad judgement happens when we interact with the world in a way that doesn’t align with the nature of reality. The only way we can ever know if our judgement is “good” or “bad” is by interacting with the world. Reality is the judge and the jury. By avoiding reality, we avoid finding out. By not finding out, we avoid getting bruised, yes, but we also avoid the deeply felt lessons that only those bruises can ever deliver—the lessons that only reality can teach us.

“When you make it your goal to create the perfect relationship between you and your body, you are learning to have a perfect relationship with anyone you are with, including your mother, your friends, your lover, your children, your dog. When you have the perfect relationship between you and your body, in that moment your half of any relationship outside you is completely fulfilled. You no longer depend upon the success of a relationship from the outside.”
Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love

Beyond the Quote (66/365)

The most you can ever contribute to the success of a relationship is 50%. The fact that it’s a relationship implies that there are two and 100% of one out of two is 50%. This isn’t to say that the most effort you can ever put forth is 50%. You can undoubtedly give your 100%, but it’s only ever going to add up to 50% as a part of the whole relationship. This is one of the key mindsets to understand in order to maintain a healthy relationship. Let’s take a look at an example.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
Albert Camus, via Things No One Else Can Teach Us (Page 5)

Beyond the Quote (65/365)

Our world can be cold, harsh, and barren—there’s no doubt about that. Yet, even in the depth of winter when things feel like they’re at their worst there’s still one place that the outside world can’t touch—our inside world. The people around us might be despicable, we might be in an incredibly harsh and barren situation, and we might even be without a clear way out, but unless we let it, our inner world is ours only for the making. This is not to say that the outside world won’t have an influence over our inside world—because it certainly can—but the absolute most it can have is an influence. It has no direct access or authoritative power over our inner world. And what a profound revelation that is.

“At the end of life, most of us will find that we have felt most filled up by the challenges and successful struggles for mastery, creativity, and full expression of our dharma in the world. Fulfillment happens not in retreat from the world, but in advance – and profound engagement.”
Stephen Cope, The Great Work Of Your Life

Beyond the Quote (64/365)

After receiving a thunderous round of applause for a speech he gave, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson was asked if he was having fun giving speeches and talking about important intellectual topics. When he replied, “No,” I was caught off guard. I couldn’t understand how he could so eloquently CRUSH an hour and a half long speech, do it in a way that was so well received by the audience, laugh and joke throughout, and admit that he didn’t have fun while doing it?

“You’ve gotta find a way to get out of your own way, so you can progress in life.”
Steve Carlton

Beyond the Quote (63/365)

The ideal way to go from thought to end destination is through appropriate action. Simple enough, right? That’s the way you bring entrepreneurial ventures from thoughts to life. It’s how you incorporate healthy lifestyle habits into your daily routine. It’s how go from grade school to high school to college to job to career to living your imagined lifestyle. And it all happens through the appropriate actions that you take once the appropriate thoughts get confirmed in your head. But, as I’m sure you’re aware, taking appropriate actions isn’t all that simple. Before you can take an appropriate action, you have to have the appropriate thoughts in your head confirmed. And THIS is where most everybody gets tripped up.

“What could someone figure out about you by the friends you’ve chosen? …Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you? Less or more talented and successful than you? Do they share your values? Ambitions? Interests?”
Gregory Stock, The Book of Questions

Beyond the Quote (62/365)

You could probably learn a lot about someone by the friends they’ve chosen. In fact, I’m a firm believer in the idea that you are a product of who you surround yourself with the most. How could you not be? Your close friends are the ones who have the greatest influence over you. They’re the ones who you spend the most time with, who you challenge to games and do activities with, who you poke around with intellectually, who you have deep conversations with (or at least conversations beyond the superficial), and who you measure (and ultimately align) values, ambitions, and interests with. While this certainly isn’t always the case, I feel like it is more often than it’s not and can definitely provide noteworthy insights that will help you better understand your current situation.

“When we help others, the focus of our mind assumes a broader horizon within which we are able to see our own petty problems in a more realistic proportion. What previously appeared to be daunting and unbearable, which is what often makes our problems so overwhelming, tends to lose its intensity.”
Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness

Beyond the Quote (60/365)

This is where the idea of “first world problems” comes from. We will complain about and feel overwhelm from the problems that are prevalent in our world—as small or as large as that world is. If our world is small from inexperience or lack of opportunity, then our small problems will appear to be big. If our world is large from a plethora of experiences and plentiful opportunities, then even our “large” problems will appear to be small. If what we have to complain about, for example, is some stupid thing someone said to us, and our world is small and we don’t have anything else affecting us, then why would we complain and worry about anything else? That which doesn’t immediately affect us doesn’t immediately concern us. The entire scope of our focus is directed at the only thing that is calling for it, which in this case, is the stupid thing someone said to us. That is our entire world and that is our only problem to focus on. Until it’s not.

“It’s not the things that happen to us that cause us to suffer, it’s what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening.”
Pema Chodron, via Essential Zen Habits (Page 106)

Beyond the Quote (59/365)

Think about your mind like a movie theater. What you say to yourself is what directs and creates the movie that plays in your mind. You can direct and play whatever type of movie you want—action, comedy, romance, horror, adventure, thriller, etc. What you don’t get to do, however, is choose how the events in your movie unfold. So, if you can’t control how the events unfold, how can you control how the movie plays out? It’s all in the director’s (your) creative interpretation and expression of how those events influence the main character to think, feel, speak, and act (also you). You get to take the expression, “Everything happens for a reason” and you get to determine why everything happened and for what reason and see to it that the movie plays out in a direction of your choosing.

“Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception – we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable – there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.”
Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Beyond the Quote (58/365)

What a gift it would be if we were able to drop all of our desires for perfection. And I’m not just talking about some of our desires for perfection—I mean all of them. The desire to look perfect; to have perfect grades/ outcomes/ performances; to be perceived as perfect by others; to have perfect answers to questions; to be the perfect mother/ father/ spouse/ sibling; to have the perfect circumstances; to live the perfect life… Why? Because every single one of these desires creates suffering. They create unattainable, unrealistic goals that lead to constant disappointment, self-judgement, and less acceptance of your self and others. And in this world—in this reality—there is no such thing as perfect.

“In today’s fast-changing world, it’s not so much what you know anymore that counts, because often what you know is old. It is how fast you learn. That skill is priceless.”
Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad (Page 212)

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And to that point, even more important than the speed in which you learn is whether or not you are actually still learning. The world is changing at an incredible pace and as Kiyosaki points out, more often than not, what you know from what you’ve been taught is likely outdated and old. Thankfully, with the internet and Google, we don’t have to worry about memorizing new material or about having access the latest ideas—they are readily available to us with a couple of quick thumb taps. But with that access and organization still comes responsibility on our part.

“Take heed: you do not find what you do not seek.”
English Proverb

Beyond the Quote (56/365)

Obviously, right? Well… Maybe not so obvious. The concept is easily understood, of course. If you’re playing hide and seek with your kids, for example, and you send them off to hide, but you choose not to seek them out (that was mean of you), then they won’t be found. Until of course, they come out seeking you so that they can yell at you for not playing the game with them properly (and for being mean)! If you don’t seek, you won’t find. If you don’t go out looking for cars, you won’t find a car. If you don’t seek advice or help, you won’t find advice or help. If you don’t look for the good in people, you won’t find the good in people. Where this concept becomes, “not so obvious” is when you want to find but don’t know how to seek (or aren’t even aware that you’re not seeking).

“Part of the magic of the experience lay in the sheer beauty of the setting: the breathtaking sight of the high mountains, the sweep of the sky, the panorama of the great valley. The beauty drives you out of the self for a moment – so that for this time, the self is not.”
Joseph Jaworski, Synchronicity

Beyond the Quote (55/365)

This is (at least in strong part) why we are so drawn to beautiful destinations. The sheer beauty of the settings that we travel to pull us out of ourselves—and for that time, the self is not. It’s an incredible escape that is so cherished because our “monkey minds” drive us crazy. I’m sure you might be able to relate. You know the feeling of being unsettled, restless, confused, indecisive? That’s the monkey mind. It’s our inner critic and the part of our mind that is most connected to the ego. The monkey mind insists on being heard, is relentlessly talkative, is constantly pointing to all of our flaws and mistakes, and contends to keep us distracted from doing any kind of deep work all of the time. It’s exhausting and it’s what makes us want a vacation so damn bad.

Beyond the Quote

Humble the Poet Quote on Comparing Ourselves To Others (and Why That Can Be Dangerous)

Beyond the Quote (77/365)

Thich Nhat Hanh Quote on Suffering and Having Compassion For Those Who Are In Pain

Beyond the Quote (76/365)

Rob Dyer Quote on Staying Focused On The Right Things—Things That Bring Us Together

Beyond the Quote (74/365)

Albert Einstein Quote on Monotony and Solitude and How It Affects Creativity

Beyond the Quote (73/365)

Seth Godin Quote on Quitting—Quitting More So You Can Focus More On What Matters [Plus 30 Things to Consider Quitting]

Beyond the Quote (71/365)

Vince Lombardi Quote on How Winners Never Quit—And Why I Disagree

Beyond the Quote (70/365)

Ryan Holiday Quote on Producing Good Work—Despite The Challenges

Beyond the Quote (69/365)

Quote About Showing Up For Life—On Collecting Scars Not Avoiding Bruises

Beyond the Quote (67/365)

Don Miguel Ruiz Quote on Creating the Perfect Relationships—Starting With The One You Have With Yourself

Beyond the Quote (66/365)

Albert Camus Quote on The Invincible Summer Inside

Beyond the Quote (65/365)

Stephen Cope Quote on Engaging With Life Rather Than Retreating—On Doing What’s Meaningful Rather Than Fun

Beyond the Quote (64/365)

Steve Carlton Quote on Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Beyond the Quote (63/365)

Gregory Stock Quote on Friendship—and What Your Friends Say About You

Beyond the Quote (62/365)

The Dalai Lama Quote on Handling Problems by Zooming Out and Looking From a Broader Perspective

Beyond the Quote (60/365)

Pema Chodron Quote on Suffering and What We Should Do To Alleviate It

Beyond the Quote (59/365)

Brené Brown Quote on Perfectionism and How It’s Unattainable and Self-Destructive

Beyond the Quote (58/365)

Robert Kiyosaki Quote on The Importance Of Learning In Today’s Fast-Changing World

Beyond the Quote (57/365)

Quote About How You Don’t Find What You Don’t Seek

Beyond the Quote (56/365)

Joseph Jaworski Quote on Beautiful Settings and How They Can Drive You Out Of Yourself

Beyond the Quote (55/365)