Beyond the Quote

Penor Rinpoche Quote on Dealing With Life Now Rather Than Waiting (and Worrying) About It Later

“Life is more difficult if you worry. It’s better to deal with things as they come up.”
Penor Rinpoche, via Turning the Mind Into An Ally (Page 101)

Beyond the Quote (134/365)

I have noticed in myself over the past few days an increased tendency to use my phone. This tendency, I suppose, could be for many reasons. It could be because of the addictive nature of phones, the increased desire for connection during a time of isolation, it could be a coping strategy to deal with the effects of the Coronavirus pandemic, a lackadaisical response to the slower lifestyle (in my case at least), or a combination of all of the above. While it is important to be a little more lenient on yourself during a time of global crisis, what I have also noticed, from careful introspection, is that I have felt my anxiety levels go up in proportion to the increased phone use.

“Do not try to fix whatever comes into your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.”
Sadhguru

Beyond the Quote (133/365)

The following story was submitted by Angel via the Share Your Story page on our website. In it, she discusses how she managed to break away and move forward from limiting beliefs that were imposed on her throughout her life that were a source of much stress and anxiety. Now, as you’ll read about below, she lives a more accepting and grateful life. And it all started from a simple recommendation that came from some of her best friends. Here’s Angel to explain:

“If you worry and nothing’s wrong, you’ve wasted precious time over nothing. If you worry and something is wrong, you’ve still wasted precious time.”
Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha

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What higher purpose does worrying serve? Let’s assume for a few moments that since we all do it so much that it serves some sort of higher purpose—otherwise, why would we continue doing it so damn much? Worrying is sort of like concerned thinking. When you break those two components down—thinking and concern—they both certainly can be argued as serving us in beneficial ways. So where’s the issue? Let’s dive a little deeper.

“To reach an audacious goal, we sometimes benefit from having it lie just beyond our grasp.”
Sarah Lewis, The Rise

Beyond the Quote (130/365)

Think about a time when you won – by a lot. What was going through your mind?

“Who’s ready to celebrate?!”
“What are we having for dinner?”
“All of my hard work has finally paid off.”

Think also about a time when you lost – by a lot. What was going through your mind after that?

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”
Jill Churchill

Beyond the Quote (128/365)

There’s too much pressure on being perfect. Mostly, pressure that we put on ourselves. We want to look perfect—not only in our eyes, but in the eyes of others. We want to act perfectly—to never make a mistake or do something that we might otherwise regret. We want to feel that perfection of inner balance and inner peace—to never lose ourselves emotionally or show any kind of weakness. The problem with this kind of perfection seeking behavior is in how it hinders us more than it helps us.

“How we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.”
Susan David, Ph.D, Mindful

Beyond the Quote (127/365)

As a result of people being in quarantine because of COVID-19, there have been two conversations that have been happening at large. One group has been pushing for productivity. The idea is to use all of this extra time to do more of that you felt you never had time to do before. Start that blog; write that book; lose that weight; create that website; become that person. The other group has been pushing for conscientious recovery. The idea is that this global pandemic has radically affected all of our lives and has redefined “normal.” We need to be taking this time to mindfully cope with all of new unknowns and pay close attention to our mental health during this global crisis. Both of these schools of thought should be carefully considered by everybody.

“One must make the warrior walk his everyday walk.”
Miyamoto Musashi

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One concept that gets focused on intensely in Martial Arts training is balance. Having good physical balance is important, of course, as you need to be able to kick, punch, and block without falling down or getting tripped up in poor technique. But, balance runs much deeper than just the obvious ability to execute moves without falling. In order to perform optimally in self-defense situations and, more importantly, in life situations as a Martial Artist, we need to be balanced physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“Frustration is a very positive sign. It means that the solution to your problem is within range, but what you’re currently doing isn’t working, and you need to change your approach in order to achieve your goal.”
Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within

Beyond the Quote (125/365)

Frustration is the feeling you get when you try, try again; yet fail, fail again. And what do most people do when faced with ‘fail, fail again?‘ Quit. They stop trying to do whatever it was that they were failing at and move on to something else—something that they can succeed at again. Something that is most likely back inside of their comfort zone and well within their range of already proven skills, knowledge, and understanding. Why? Because succeeding feels good and failing feels bad. But, the price of giving in to frustration is steep.

“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.”
Paulo Coelho

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I disagree. I stumbled upon this quote on Instagram and I can see why people would share it and agree with it from a superficial standpoint, but I feel that there’s something deeply wrong about it that needs to be discussed. If you never took the time to explain, how would anybody ever be influenced to change their mind? Certainly people change their minds. And in my estimation, it’s ONLY through conversation and explanation that it ever happens: conversations you have with other people, conversations you listen to between other people, and conversations that you read from other people. It’s through this constant exchange of ideas—these explanations—that we only ever advance our thoughts forward. How else could we possibly do that?

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
Yoda

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Many times we don’t even realize that we’re living in fear. When we find our comforts, we get comfortable living with them. It’s instinctual. It’s natural. It’s how we’re wired and what we’re drawn to. We’re living in a sort-of primal state of constant pleasure seeking and pain avoidance. Why wouldn’t that be the case? Who actually would want to seek out fear? Confront fear? Work to overcome fear? It’s scary! It’s uncomfortable! There’s so much resistance! You’d have to have a really good reason to do any of that.

“If I fail more than you do, I win. Built into this notion is the ability to keep playing. If you get to keep playing, sooner or later you’re gonna make it succeed. The people who lose are the ones who don’t fail at all, or the ones who fail so big they don’t get to play again.”
Seth Godin

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If you try and you fail—and you quit—you lose. If you try and you fail—and you adjust and try again—you win. The ultimate failure in life isn’t the failures we inevitably stumble upon from our trials, it’s the failure to not try (or to stop trying) at all. Without trial in life, you defer to passivity. You choose to watch rather than play. And while it’s fun to watch sometimes, playing is where all of the magic happens. Playing is the active process of interacting with your surroundings in a way that allows you to learn. When you try, your whole being makes an incalculable number of adjustments and improvements so that you can better play moving forward. You just can’t do that from the sideline.

“[Leisure] is a physical state—a physical action—that somehow replenishes and strengthens the soul. Leisure is not the absence of activity, it is activity. What is absent is any external justification—you can’t do leisure for pay, you can’t do it to impress people. You have to do it for you.“
Ryan Holiday, Stillness is the Key (Page 237)

Beyond the Quote (120/365)

Too often we associate “replenishing” and “recharging” with shutting down and binging. We finish a long stretch of work and we immediately resort to plopping down in front of the TV and mindlessly zoning out for a few hours to “recover.” And while it is okay to do that every now and again, what might be worth exploring is the idea of recharging, not by checking out, but by checking in to activities that engage you.

“Epicurus once said that the wise will accomplish three things in their life: leave written works behind them, be financially prudent and provide for the future, and cherish country living. That is to say, we will be reflective, we will be responsible and moderate, and we will find time to relax in nature.”
Ryan Holiday, Stillness is the Key (Page 183)

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If there was ever a time to prioritize reflection, responsibility/ moderation, and nature, this would be the time. COVID-19 has had a drastic impact on the world—our world. It took almost everything that we grew to rely on as part of our daily lives and flipped it all upside down. Family dynamics aren’t the same. Work isn’t the same. Education isn’t the same. Extracurricular activities aren’t the same. Food isn’t the same. Friends aren’t the same. Shopping isn’t the same. Exercise isn’t the same. Entertainment isn’t the same. Everything has been affected. And when the landscape all around us is shifting as rapidly as it is under these circumstances, what we need now more than ever is stability and stillness within.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
Kahlil Gibran

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Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker. Then all of the balloons were collected and put in another room.

A Heart Warming Quote About Eeyore and The Amazing Efforts of His Friends

“One awesome thing about Eeyore is that even though he is basically clinically depressed, he still gets invited to participate in adventures and shenanigans with all of his friends. What is amazing is that they never expect him to pretend to feel happy, they never leave him behind or ask him to change, they just show him love.”
Unknown

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One of the more common thoughts being passed around in the self-improvement world is the idea that you are who you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with people who gossip—you’ll become a person who gossips. If you surround yourself with people who workout all of the time—you’ll start to workout all of the time. If you surround yourself with “losers”—you’ll become a “loser.” You get the idea—birds of a feather flock together.

“Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest.”
Ashleigh Brilliant

Beyond the Quote (115/365)

If you’re at the point of burnout, that doesn’t mean that you’re just physically tired or that you’re mentally fatigued… being burned out means that your body has shut down because all of your domains of energy have been depleted—physical, mental, and emotional. And when your body shuts down, you have no choice but to listen.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… Including you.”
Anne Lamott

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Following through on a commitment is something that you can choose to do or choose not to do. Burning out is something that happens—it’s not something that you can choose against. When there’s no more gas in the car, you can’t choose to magically have more gas with the snap of your fingers—you need a gas station for that. When there’s no more battery juice left in your phone, you can’t choose to boost your battery life with positive thinking—you need a charging cable for that. When there’s no more energy left inside you—mental, physical, or emotional—you can’t demand more energy to appear through even the most disciplined thinking—you need rest, recover, and self-care for that.

“We forget that life isn’t as bad as we’re making it out to be. We also forget that when we’re blowing things out of proportion, we are the ones doing the blowing.”
Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

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The powerful thing about perspective is that it has the ability to change how we see. And if how we see changes, well, everything in the world will look different. In life, many of us disproportionately view our world as larger than it is—we blow it out of proportion. Why? Because from our perspective, our world is the world. The size of our perception of life is the size of our understanding of the world. And when we hyper focus on the trivialities of our life in comparison to all that’s happening in life throughout the world? Those trivialities can start to look much bigger than they really are.

“He that has energy enough to root out a vice should go further, and try to plant a virtue in its place.”
Charles Caleb Colton

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How hard is it to dig up the roots of an old tree? Even trying to dig up the roots of a small tree or a bush can be incredibly hard. This is why, after a tree gets cut down, the stump is either left behind or it’s sawed down and the roots are simply left underground. Trying to take all of the roots up from a cut down tree simply isn’t worth the time and effort it requires in most cases.

Now, how hard is it to plant a seed for a new tree? Even planting a seed for the mightiest of trees is a breeze. There might be some variance in the specifics, but for the most part, you prep the land/ soil, dig a hole to the proper depth, place the seed in the hole, put the soil back on top of it, and make sure it gets enough water and sun and voila! You’re done.

“I believe in tough love. But for tough love to work, love must come first. We must love tough to bring out the best in those who lead.”
Jon Gordon

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At what point does “tough love” go from being “love that’s tough” to just being hurtful, mean, and even abusive behavior? It’s an important distinction to make because there is certainly a line between being tough out of love and being tough because of harbored inner hate—or lack of control.

In my estimation, I think Jon has it right in the quote above. In order for tough love to work, love must come first. The intention behind the action has to be mindfully channeled through love and has to be conscious and deliberate. When tough actions are taken without the mind, they are usually emotionally charged, disproportionately harsh, and later regretted. Then, after it’s all said and done, those actions are guised behind “tough love” and proper responsibility isn’t always taken.