“Whenever you feel sad, sit by the side of a tree, by the side of the river, by the side of a rock, and just relax into your sadness without any fear. The more you relax, the more you will become acquainted with the beauties of sadness. Then sadness will start changing its form; it will become a silent joy, uncaused by anybody outside you. That will not be shallow happiness, which can be taken away very easily. And getting deeper into your aloneness, one day you will find not only joy – joy is only midway. Happiness is very superficial, depends on others; joy is in the middles, does not depend on anyone. But going deeper you will come to the state of bliss – that’s what I call enlightenment.”
Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
Beyond the Quote (93/365)
Whenever you are feeling a deep emotion—sit with it. Do not rush to do anything else. Do not turn on the TV; do not turn on a podcast; do not log into your social media accounts; do not pour a glass of wine; do not conduct busywork; do not go shopping; do not experiment with drugs; do not call your ex. Just, sit with it.
If you cannot sit with it in your current environment without getting overly distracted, find a space where you can. This can be found with noise cancelling headphones, a cushion, and a “do not disturb” sign. Or, this might be found in nature (if it’s accessible to you) by a tree, river, or rock. This space that you give yourself is what will allow you to actually turn TOWARDS that deep emotion and face it. This is not possible if you are doing anything else.
When your eyes are open and you are going about the tasks of your day, you are constantly pouring new information into your mind that needs to be analyzed and filtered. And for as long as new information is being poured in, nothing else can be settled or explored. It is as if there is a sewage line that is emptying its contents into a lake. Before you can start analyzing and filtering the lake, you would want to cut off the source of the incoming sewage contents first.
Once the supply has been cut, then the contents of the lake can begin to settle and the important work of cleaning the lake can begin. The same is true for your mind. Before you can clear the contents of your mind, you need to shut off the inputs and stimulants that are pouring information into it. Once the supplies have been cut, the important work of exploring your emotional state can begin.
While this may sound uncomfortable and like the LAST thing that you might want to do when you’re experiencing deep emotional turbulence, it is precisely what is going to lead you to a better, more comfortable (even joyous or blissful) state. Without that mental confrontation, none of the important work can be done. And while it might feel overwhelming, remember that the feeling will only grow the more you run from it.
Confrontation is the only thing that can help it change. It’s important also to be mindful of the severity of the emotional challenge. If you genuinely feel as though confronting the deeply packed emotions isn’t something you can handle alone, then you should certainly seek the help of a professional. Confronting and unpacking trauma or depression, for example, may certainly warrant the assistance of qualified assistance.
Once you are able to properly sit with and confront the deep emotions inside, you will find that, with the appropriate amount of time, they will start to transform. How they might transform exactly is impossible to say, but it is very likely, that as Osho depicts above, that sadness can start to transform into silent joy. And if you’re persistent, true to yourself, and still enough, you may even be able to convert silent joy into states of bliss. This is only possible when all emotional turbulence and disturbances have been given proper space to settle, shift, and transform.
Sometimes this can happen in the space of a moment and sometimes this can take the space of a few years. The end result state is not something of permanence or finite end, but rather the state at which we can aim for and journey to pursue in each moment. It is not an end, but rather, a method, a strategy, a formula for the rest of our days. I hope these moments of stillness are finding you okay. Sending you all my best.
Don't Let the Motivation Stop There...!
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