“I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don’t feel like it, pay compliments, chase the kid’s runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are— particularly when it’s difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it’s done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain (“I’m not a big one for paying compliments…”), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more Gene Kelly dancing in the rain.”
Jonathan Carroll
Beyond the Quote (90/365)
Don’t let ideas of the grandiose stop you from acting in thoughtful, kind ways today. Don’t let your desire to change the whole world (or have a huge impact) stop you from doing anything at all for those who are already in your world. Brainstorming and coming up with master plans is great, but it should never be at the expense of those who surround you throughout your brainstorming process. Never underestimate the power of small gestures done in selfless, loving ways, for those gestures may prove to be the very foundation for so much else in your life.
I still remember times when people have paid for my coffee, over tipped for a service I provided, gave me a compliment, or even just smiled and went out of their way to spread good vibes, and how great each of those made me feel—I’m sure you do too. What’s more, is that I also remember times when I have paid for other people’s coffee, overtipped for a service others have provided, gave a thoughtful and specific compliment, and have gone out of my way to spread good vibes and how great each of those made me feel, too. If you look closely at your own experience, you might realize that it’s a two way street and both ways take you to the same destination of feeling a bit more like Gene Kelly dancing in the rain! Giving and receiving both feel good.
This is an important realization to have because so many of us get caught in these traps of planning and waiting, and it holds us back in many ways. First, by constantly planning, brainstorming, and thinking up the next big move you’re going to make, you take away time that you could be actually making moves and trying things out now. The greatest plan gets beat every time by even the smallest of actions. This is not to say that you shouldn’t dream big and have grandiose plans! Just don’t let them stop you from taking actions now—even the actions that might be looked at as comparatively small. Small actions, after all, are the foundation of all big changes.
Second, by always waiting for other people to make the kind gesture first, you give away all of your control. Feeling good, again, is a destination that can be arrived at not only from the small gestures of others, but from the small gestures committed by you. By choosing to wait for somebody else to be kind, or for somebody else to go out of their way to do something nice, or for somebody else to say something thoughtful to you that will make you feel good, you’re choosing to give away what actual power you do have over the matter! You can’t control when somebody else is going to do any of that to (for) you. And even if you did try to control it, it would make it forced and ugly. The kind of gestures we’re talking about are the ones that come freely from somebody’s good will and best intentions.
By choosing instead, to be the initiator, you’re re-claiming what control you do have and choosing to take actions that might lead you to get to the same destination anyway. You can go out of your way, first, and feel better about yourself for doing that. You can say something thoughtful, first, and feel lighter with each step thereafter for the rest of the day. You can choose to be larger than you are (even when it’s difficult) and console a person who is in need, even though you might feel like you want them to come to you, first. And what you might find is that by taking those small actions first, you’ll end up getting more kind and thoughtful small gestures in return anyway (not that that’s the goal, but rather as an argument for being first to act rather than waiting). So be the initiator! Do something kind and full-hearted to somebody, just because. Re-claim your ability to feel good and stop waiting for others to go out of their way to give it to you. This is within your control; this is where positive momentum gets built; and this is where your foundation for change gets laid. Good luck!
Don't Let the Motivation Stop There...!
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