Leo Babauta Quote on Not Making Exceptions—Ever

“Exceptions lead to more exceptions. It’s really easy to justify not doing [a] new habit (or doing an old habit you’re trying to quit) by saying, ‘Just one time won’t hurt.’ Except that it will, because now you think it’s OK to make exceptions. And now you don’t really trust yourself to stick to your promise to yourself. It’s much more effective to not make exceptions — catch yourself if you’re thinking about it and trying to justify it, and remember your motivations. When I quit smoking, I told myself Not One Puff Ever (NOPE).”

Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

Beyond the Quote (Day 6)

The habit changes that I have had the most success with incorporating into my lifestyle have been the ones that I have been the most strict with myself about.  When I started drinking coffee black, I told myself No Cream or Sugar Ever.  When I cut out donuts from my diet, I told myself Not One Bite Ever.  When I stopped drinking alcohol, I told myself Not One Sip Ever.  When I committed to going vegan, I told myself No Meat or Dairy Ever.  Like Babauta, I made sure there were no exceptions or ‘gray-areas’ to these habit changes—and while that might sound harsh and intense, I actually feel like it made the habit change process easier.

The problem with setting up more vague goals like, “I’m going to try to stop drinking my coffee with cream and sugar,” or “I’m going to try and eat less donuts,” or “I’m really not going to go out and drink as much anymore,” is that it leaves room for mental negotiation which naturally leads to long, hard, draining mental fights.  Just one donut won’t hurt, right?  Well, how do you decide which days to follow this goal and which days not to?  How will you know for sure when it’s okay to stray from your intentions?  Why is it okay to mess up on some days but not others?

When you set out strong from the beginning and make your goals “black-and-white,” then there is no more room for negotiation.  The answer is always and every time, “NOPE.”  End of negotiation.  Onto the next thought.  This has been incredibly powerful for me as all of the above mentioned habits are things that I have committed to, not just for a few months, but have been following for years.  I haven’t had cream or sugar in my coffee in over a decade, I haven’t had a donut in over eight years, I haven’t eaten meat or dairy or had a sip of alcohol (not even on New Years) in over five years.  I say this not to brag, but only to showcase the power of following this “NOPE” principle.

For me, a quick and unwavering, “NOPE” is much easier for me to deal with on a daily basis than a “loosey-goosey,” “I don’t know… Maybe?” As soon as my mind knows it has room to argue, whine, cry, and fight—it will.  And it always puts up a hell of a fight.  If the same is true for you, try out the NOPE principle and see how it goes.  Start by giving yourself a strong enough WHY and make up your mind from there.  Once I had a strong enough why in my mind for choosing to adopt a habit, I knew I would figure out the how.  Keep your motivations strong, keep your resolutions firm, and don’t negotiate with your forever argumentative, unrelenting mind—you’ll eventually lose.

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