“Use mistakes as feedback. They’re not signs that you’re a bad person or have no discipline. They’re signs that you need to adjust.”
Leo Babauta, Essential Zen Habits (Page 71)
Beyond the Quote (39/365)
In his book, Essential Zen Habits, Leo Babauta shares a simple story about mistakes that might help you shift your paradigm from looking at mistakes as catastrophic failures to seeing them as opportunities for indispensable feedback. Imagine you are walking across a pond using a small stone path. It’s not the most stable path and it zig zags across the water, but can none-the-less get you to the other side. If you wanted to get to the other side safely and dry, you would have to carefully place each step and make the proper balance adjustments along the way (I believe in you).
Now, imagine crossing the pond with your eyes closed (suddenly, I’m not so confident) (just kidding, I still believe in you). The process of crossing would look much different. You would have to blindly reach out with your foot or hand to the water and feel around for the next stable rock and repeat that process for each step along the way. This second example, looks very similar to what creating a new habit might look like.
When we set out into new territory, when we’re exploring the capabilities and processes of our minds, when we’re trying to start something new that we haven’t been able to successfully keep going before, we’re moving forward blindly. Each step is into uncharted territory and is stretching the understanding we have of ourselves and our world.
With each step we take (or try to take) it is unavoidable that we get at least a little “wet” along the way. We’re going to take steps into the water by accident, we’re going to step onto stones that aren’t as stable as we thought, and we’re going to slip up when we were just starting to feel like a real life ninja—it’s a part of the process of crossing blind.
Just because you stepped your foot into the water on accident, doesn’t mean you would get yourself wetter as a consequence or give up and jump into the pond altogether, right? The step into the water is the exact feedback you need to know where to look (or more precisely, not look) next. It gives you insight as to where the path might actually be. Without that knowledge you wouldn’t be able to adjust or move forward. Mistakes are feedback, not catastrophic failures.
How does this translate? Let’s say your goal is to stop drinking pop (yes, pop—not soda) and you set forth on this path to eliminate it from your diet completely. Each day will bring with it new, unforeseen challenges and uniquely difficult situations that will put that resolution to the test (you can count on it). As you navigate your path, you take extra precaution and you step with ease.
Let’s say you step your way into a party where all that’s being served is pop. That’s a mistake, but that’s also a clue. “Not to self, bring my own drink whenever I go to this person’s house in the future.” Just because you find yourself at a pop party doesn’t mean you give up all hope and chug away. Take the lesson and readjust your path.
Let’s say you have a party and somebody brings pop over to your house and then leaves it there after the party is over. That also, doesn’t mean it’s time to chug away and “jump into the water.” Give the pop to a friend, maybe be more specific on your items-to-bring-list, and adjust your path. Let’s say you took a dang drink of pop and you couldn’t freakin’ help it! …Mindfully look at what got you to that point, take the feedback, adjust, and don’t let it happen again—especially not two days in a row. Get back on the path and refocus on taking your next successful step forward.
Getting a little “wet” doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you have no discipline. It’s actually a wonderful piece of insight that shows you how you might take your next successful step forward. And if you want to cross that pond and be a real life ninja, be patient and focused with the process of taking each step along the way—it doesn’t get easier, but you can definitely get better.
Read Next: 16 Leo Babauta Quotes from Essential Zen Habits and How To Master the Art of Change
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