Quote About Being Patient and Not Chasing Anything Or Anyone

“I no longer chase anything or anyone. I work for what I want and I remain patient while going after it. So called friends who want to go, can go. Lovers who have forgotten how to love me, can go. I do not have energy to chase what is not for me. Life is too short for me to run miles for people who don’t take steps for me.”
Unknown, Relationship Rules

Beyond the Quote (32/365)

Anything forced is ugly. This is an expression that I find myself referencing often in my life. Relationships of all kinds should be a metaphorical (and sometimes literal) joining of the hands and a shared walking forward of the same path, with excitement, grace, and love. Relationships should never be a “tugging” of one person from one path to another. And relationships certainly should never be “forced” or a “dragging” of one person who is trying to walk on a path of their own down a path of your own. Forced relationships are ugly.

One of the most important lessons to internalize in life is the idea that not everyone who starts with you on your journey will end with you on your journey. Everybody in life has their own path. Some people never cross your path at all—and that’s okay. Some people’s paths fork from yours right from the beginning—and that’s okay. Some people share the path with you for a while, but then split when life calls them a different way—and that’s okay. Some people walk with you for a long time and become your life, travel buddy, but then get pulled in a different direction later in life (sometimes when you never thought it could happen)—and that’s also, okay. Some people, if you’re lucky, walk the path with you for life—and are excited, graceful, and loving along the way—and that’s amazing. What’s not okay is selfishly pulling somebody off their path and onto yours because you don’t want them to leave.

Does this mean you shouldn’t force yourself to work incredibly hard for the people and things you want in your life? Of course not. This expression has everything to do with reciprocity. It’s about doing your part and letting other people do theirs (or not). It’s about having the awareness to recognize when a relationship is too one-sided and furthermore about having the courage (and self-respect) to let go of and move forward from people when the “walking” is no longer right. Because relationships are about relating to one another.

They’re an exchange of attention, energy, actions, and ideas in both directions that makes the walk more enjoyable and helps both people become better (for both lovers and friends). As soon as a relationship starts to shift from being around 50/50 splits in regards to effort put forth and approaches splits closer to 70/30 or 80/20 or 90/10, then you know something is up and that maybe it’s time to look closer at the paths that are laid out in front of the both of you. At no point should a relationship (or friendship) ever be 100/0, a “tugging,” a “dragging,” or “forced” in any way.

Every relationship is different and placing concrete numbers on “effort” in a relationship is impossible and can only be done subjectively (which, of course, implies bias). But, intuition and subjective opinion, are certainly enough to matter. In other words, your feelings are valid. Obviously, before letting go and moving on from someone you care deeply about (or have cared deeply about) in your life, having a serious conversation about your feelings is an important first step (sometimes choosing the right path requires serious conversations).

But once that attempt has been made, the actions that transpire are the only pieces of communication that should ever be paid any mind. Not thoughts or intentions—actions. Actions are the realization of intentions and thoughts. Intentions and thoughts without actions aren’t real—so why would they be counted in real-ity? Love is a verb and can only properly be expressed when the person you’re walking with is continuing to deliberately take steps forward with you (and not away), is helping you walk your path when you need help (and vise-versa), is actively engaging in the walk with a positive life force, and makes the walk unimaginably and unequivocally more enjoyable.