“You have a career and friends and family members and personal projects and artistic endeavors and athletic pursuits. You might consider judging your success across all the games you play. Imagine that you are very good at some, middling at others, and terrible at the remainder. Perhaps that’s how it should be. You might object: I should be winning at everything! But winning at everything might only mean that you’re not doing anything new or difficult. You might be winning but you’re not growing, and growing might be the most important form of winning. Should victory in the present always take precedence over trajectory across time?”
Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 88)
Beyond the Quote (15/365)
If you’re winning all of the time, every time, at everything, then one of two things has gone wrong: either you’re playing the wrong game(s) or you’re playing the wrong people. Who cares if you win against a two-year-old in chess all of the time, every time? There’s no challenge, which means there’s no growth, which means there’s no value. Either you need a new game to play or you need to find a new person to play the game against. Even if you were playing chess against one of your peers, and you were crushing them every time, it’s the same issue—no challenge, no growth, no value.
The same is true of the opposite as well. Let’s say you’re in competition with some of your peers to see who can run the fastest mile. If every time you raced they were absolutely crushing you and you weren’t even coming close to winning, then why would you even want to bother trying to close that huge gap? Too much challenge can be just as demotivating as too little challenge.
Think about it: easy-wins leave people feeling comfortable, cocky, and relaxed—why train or change anything? In other words, why try to grow? Huge losses leave people feeling defeated, unworthy, and hopeless—why train or even bother trying to change anything? In other words, again, why try to grow? When you can match yourself up against the right people and you’re playing the right game, THAT’S when the magic happens.
It’s when people experience ‘near-wins’ and ‘near-losses’ that they experience that disproportionately large sense of motivation and drive in comparison to what they feel after easy-wins and huge-losses. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, you always learn, and you always want to do something to improve yourself to better compete the next time. This is where all of the growth occurs, and this is where all of the value in competing (or playing a game to win) comes from. So, don’t try to win at everything. Try and surround yourself with the right people and focus carefully on picking the right games that align with your aptitudes, talents, and interests. This trajectory will take you much further than an undefeated track record against a two-year-old ever will.
Read Next: Sarah Lewis Quote on How A ‘Near Win’ Could Be Better Than ‘The Win’
Don't Let the Motivation Stop There...!
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