Beyond the Quote (103/365)
Once, an anthropologist proposed a game to kids in an African tribe. He put a basket full of fruit near a tree and told them that whoever got there first would win the entire basket. When he gave them the signal to run, they all took each other’s hands and ran together. Once they arrived at the tree, they sat in a circle and enjoyed the fruits together. When he asked them why they chose to run as a group when they could have raced against each other for the whole basket, one child spoke up and said, “UBUNTU—how can one of us be happy if all the other ones are sad?”
“UBUNTU” in the Xhosa culture means, “I am because we are.” We are not rocks. We are not unaffected by what surrounds us. We are very sensitive creatures. If one of us happy, but the rest of us are sad—how long will that happiness last? We are sensitive to the sadness of the others and we will be affected. If one of us is sad, but the rest of us are happy—how long will that sadness last? Joy is contagious and will likely boost our mood and raise our vibration (at least more so than being surrounded by a group of sad people will). This type of emotional exchange happens all of the time, every day. All of us influences the other and everybody influences us. In this way, we are all connected—we are one.
Imagine the kid from that African tribe who extended their hand out first towards one of the other kids’ hands? That gesture changed everything. Now, imagine if that same kid, who reached his hand out first, instead, decided to bolt forward towards the basket? The entire situation would have changed drastically. What would you have done if you were in the same situation? Do you think you would’ve reached out to hold another person’s hand? Or would you have bolted? If I’m being honest with myself, I’m not so sure if I would’ve extended my hand before my competitive side got the best of me. Upon reflection, however, I can’t help but think how much better extending my hand might’ve been.
At the Martial Arts school that I teach at, we have a tradition that follows a similar train of thought. Whenever a group of us are going to eat together, we encourage everybody to wait until each person has their food in front of them before anybody starts eating. In this way, we can all start together and eat as one group. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar during a family dinner or on a special holiday occasion? It feels nice to be able to extend that thought to the people that surround you—that you don’t want to fill your mouth with food until they have their food in front of them, too—Ubuntu. Now, think about a time when you were eating with a group and before you got to take the first bite of your meal, another person was already asking for seconds? It changes everything.
When you start to notice that how you feel is directly correlated to the environment that you’re in, you may start to pay closer attention. The people you surround yourself with? Matters. People’s energy is contagious—think carefully about who’s energy you want to catch. The energy you bring to a room? Will change the vibration. Do you know of a person who can light up a whole room? A person who can walk into a room filled with lame, stagnant energy and shake it up and vibe it up instantly? Why not be that person? Finally, how you choose to respond to challenges, like the one described above, or how you handle stressful situations will undoubtedly affect how everybody feels. Control the space between stimulus and your response. Become the master of your fate and try not to let your emotions determine your destiny. Act deliberately and thoughtfully—as often and as consistently as you can. And be the one who extends their hand out first.
Don't Let the Motivation Stop There...!
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