“It is your actions that most accurately reflect your deepest beliefs—those that are implicit, embedded in your being, underneath your conscious apprehensions and articulable attitudes and surface-level self-knowledge. You can only find out what you actually believe (rather than what you think you believe) by watching how you act. You simply don’t know what you believe, before that. You are too complex to understand yourself.”
Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 103)
Beyond the Quote (10/365)
I read an expression the other day that really took me aback: We judge ourselves based on our thoughts but we judge others based on their actions. I knew it was true the second I read it, but I never would have realized it if I hadn’t read it. This was, in fact, the way in which I judged myself versus how I judged others (for the most part) and it was a clear double-standard that I felt guilty about.
Whenever somebody wronged me, for example, I would judge them based on their actions, not their thoughts that lead to their actions—because I can’t read those. The only way to even get a glimpse at what another person was thinking is through their subjective (and bias) (and probably muddled) explanation. We can take their word for what they were thinking, we can trust their intentions, we can hope for the best—but ultimately, actions are the only sources of objective evidence we have that we can fully trust and base judgement on reliably. This is true for others and it is absolutely true for ourselves.
And then, I stumbled on Peterson’s quote that you read above. And that really took me aback too. So, you’re telling me that even I don’t fully understand my thoughts and the forces at large that lead to my actions? That maybe I am just as subjective, and bias, muddled, and incredibly complex as anybody else and don’t even know for sure what I actually believe and think deep down? That the best objective evidence I can have that I can fully trust and base self-judgement on reliably are the actions that I take? …Talk about leveling the playing field.
I guess the expression, “Actions speak louder than words—” should be extended to include, “—and thoughts say nothing at all.” Maybe we should pay less attention to our intentions and take a more critical look at our actions. Maybe our actions—not our thoughts—hold the key to unlocking deeper seeded beliefs, values, and character traits that are buried inside. And maybe if we weighted the significance of our actions more heavily, then maybe we would pay more attention to what we’re choosing to do, how that aligns with who we want to be, and what it means about who we already are.
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