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    “How to talk to people.

    1. Listen.

    2. Look them in the eyes (I struggle here).

    3. Set your phone on silent & leave it face down on the table.

    4. Don’t make small talk (everyone knows it’s cold).

    5. Listen.

    6. Don’t agree just for the sake of agreeing.

    7. Don’t disagree just for the sake of disagreeing.

    8. Listen.

    9. Say something interesting.

    10. Leave them better than you found them.

    11. Listen.”

    Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 39)

      “When you hate someone,

      be certain you’re hating them,

      not the fabricated version of them

      you’ve created in your head.”

      Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 29)

        “When you talk to people whose worlds are burning down you keep your voice quiet, steady, still and consistent. Your voice controls the energy in the room and in many ways it controls the emotions of the individual in front of you.”

        Eugene, via One Minute, Please? (Page 25)

          “When we remember that the people we stumble

          into on a day-to-day basis are all

          just works-in-progress, it gives us permission to have

          greater patience, compassion and love towards

          them. Not unlike ourselves, they’re trying to pilot

          the plane while they build it. They’re learning as they

          go. Failing more often than succeeding.

          And, at times, finding themselves desperately

          close to giving up. If we have one single

          responsibility as humans, it’s to love (or at the

          very least respect) one another through this

          work-in-progress. It’s being empathetic

          to the fact that nobody is exactly who they want to be,

          nor where they want to be, but they’re working

          like hell to get there.”

          Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 21)

            “Most of what we see today in this virtual world we play in is not self-love but self-obsession. Men and women throw a mask on it and call it self-love, but it’s not. When you love yourself, that light shines through, it beams out of you penetrating into the hearts and minds of others, inspiring them to love themselves too. When you’re obsessed with yourself, you produce no light, only darkness. Self-obsessed people want the world darker so they can burn brighter. To put it in less abstract terms, when someone stumbles into you (be it in the physical or virtual world) will they leave feeling fuller, stronger, lovelier? Or, will they leave feeling less? That is the fundamental difference between self-love and self-obsession. Those who love themselves show others how to love themselves too.”

            Cole Schafer (January Black), One Minute, Please? (Page 5)

              “We tend to be most rigid in our identities in areas that we’ve been hurt the most. People who grow up in poverty tend to have the most inflexible views on money and wealth. People who grow up unattractive tend to have the most rigid views about appearance. These rigid views about ourselves and the world helped us survive at one point, but when held onto for too long, they eventually hold us back.”

              Mark Manson

                “In what areas of your life are you rigid about your identity? Chances are, these are the same areas in your life that generate the most stress and conflict.”

                Mark Manson

                  “I have learned that Grief is a force of energy that cannot be controlled or predicted. It comes and goes on its own schedule. Grief does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to. In that regard, Grief has a lot in common with Love. The only way that I can “handle” Grief, then, is the same way that I “handle” Love — by not “handling” it. By bowing down before its power, in complete humility.”

                  Elizabeth Gilbert