“Work hard. If results depend on effort, then you will carry yourself far. If results depend on effort and luck, then you will have done what you can to influence the outcome. And if results depend on luck alone, then the outcome is random, but you will have won the battle with yourself.”
James Clear
Archives
“Most bullies have themselves been bullied, and they despise kids who remind them of their own vulnerability.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 357)
“In addition to reading, writing, and arithmetic, all kids need to learn self-awareness, self-regulation, and communication as part of their core curriculum. Just as we teach history and geography, we need to teach children how their brains and bodies work. For adults and children alike, being in control of ourselves requires becoming familiar with our inner world and accurately identifying what scares, upsets, or delights us.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 356) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“It is standard practice in many schools to punish children for tantrums, spacing out, or aggressive outbursts—all of which are often symptoms of traumatic stress. When that happens, the school, instead of offering a safe haven, becomes yet another traumatic trigger. Angry confrontations and punishment can at best temporarily halt unacceptable behaviors, but since the underlying alarm system and stress hormones are not laid to rest, they are certain to erupt again at the next provocation.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 355) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“More than anything else, being able to feel safe with other people defines mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. The critical challenge in a classroom setting is to foster reciprocity: truly hearing and being heard; really seeing and being seen by other people. We try to teach everyone in a school community—office staff, principals, bus drivers, teachers, and cafeteria workers—to recognize and understand the effects of trauma on children and to focus on the importance of fostering safety, predictability, and being known and seen. We make certain that the children are greeted by name every morning and that teachers make face-to-face contact with each and every one of them. Just as in our workshops, group work, and theater programs, we always start the day with check-ins: taking the time to share what’s on everybody’s mind.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 354) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“People who feel safe and meaningfully connected with others have little reason to squander their lives doing drugs or staring numbly at television; they don’t feel compelled to stuff themselves with carbohydrates or assault their fellow human beings. However, if nothing they do seems to make a difference, they feel trapped and become susceptible to the lure of pills, gang leaders, extremist religions, or violent political movements—anybody and anything that promises relief.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 353) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“As long as we feel safely held in the hearts and minds of the people who love us, we will climb mountains and cross deserts and stay up all night to finish projects. Children and adults will do anything for people they trust and whose opinion they value. But if we feel abandoned, worthless, or invisible, nothing seems to matter. Fear destroys curiosity and playfulness. In order to have a healthy society we must raise children who can safely play and learn. There can be no growth without curiosity and no adaptability without being able to explore, through trial and error, who you are and what matters to you.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 352) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“Sooner or later the outer poverty is going to disappear—we now have enough technology to make it disappear—and the real problem is going to arise. The real problem will be inner poverty. No technology can help.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 47)
“Many psychiatrists today work in assembly-line offices where they see patients they hardly know for fifteen minutes and then dole out pills to relieve pain, anxiety, or depression. Their message seems to be ‘Leave it to us to fix you; just be compliant and take these drugs and come back in three months—but be sure not to use alcohol or (illegal) drugs to relieve your problems.’ Such shortcuts in treatment make it impossible to develop self-care and self-leadership.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 351) | ★ Featured on this book list.
“People can learn to control and change their behavior, but only if they feel safe enough to experiment with new solutions. The body keeps the score: If trauma is encoded in heartbreaking and gut-wrenching sensations, then our first priority is to help people move out of fight-or-flight states, reorganize their perception of danger, and manage relationships.”
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score (Page 351) | ★ Featured on this book list.
