“Be careful with what you tell yourself and others about what you have done, what you are doing, and where you are going. Search for the correct words. Organize those words into correct sentences, and those sentences into the correct paragraphs. The past can be redeemed, when reduced by precise language to its essence. The present can flow by without robbing the future if its realities are spoken out clearly. With careful thought and language, the singular, stellar destiny that justifies existence can be extracted from the multitude of murky and unpleasant futures that are far more likely to manifest themselves of their own accord.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 281)
“When things fall apart, and chaos re-emerges, we can give structure to it, and re-establish order, through our speech. If we speak carefully and precisely, we can sort things out, and put them in their proper place, and set a new goal, and navigate to it—often communally, if we negotiate; if we reach consensus. If we speak carelessly and imprecisely, however, things remain vague. The destination remains unproclaimed. The fog of uncertainty does not lift, and there is no negotiating through the world.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 278)
“No one finds a match so perfect that the need for continued attention and work vanishes (and, besides, if you found the perfect person, he or she would run away from ever-so-imperfect you in justifiable horror). In truth, what you need—what you deserve, after all—is someone exactly as imperfect as you.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 273)
“People organize their brains with conversation. If they don’t have anyone to tell their story to, they lose their minds. Like hoarders, they cannot unclutter themselves. The input of the community is required for the integrity of the individual psyche. To put it another way: It takes a village to organize a mind.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 250)
“You remember the past not so that it is ‘accurately recorded,’ to say it again, but so that you are prepared for the future.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 247)
“The people I listen to need to talk, because that’s how people think. People need to think. Otherwise they wander blindly into pits. When people think, they simulate the world, and plan how to act in it. If they do a good job of simulating, they can figure out what stupid things they shouldn’t do. Then they can not do them. Then they don’t have to suffer the consequences. That’s the purpose of thinking.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 240)
“Memory is a tool. Memory is the past’s guide to the future. If you remember that something bad happened, and you can figure out why, then you can try to avoid that bad thing happening again. That’s the purpose of memory. It’s not ‘to remember the past.’ It’s to stop the same damn thing from happening over and over.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 239)
“If you’re not the leading man in your own drama, you’re a bit player in someone else’s—and you might well be assigned to play a dismal, lonely and tragic part.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 238)
“If you want close, supportive relationships with friends and family members when you’re eighty-five, trace a series of moves leading up to that, all the way back to the present time. Pleasant, right? That’s the universe telling you to spend more time with people you care about. If you want a life of purpose, don’t you think you’d better start finding your purpose now? You may not get there by working more hours, coming home late, putting off time with your friends and family. Maybe you want a different job, a long talk with your son, a move to a different part of the country. Maybe the answer is ending a marriage in which you’re no longer helping each other grow. I never said this was going to be easy.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Pages 16-17)
“No one wants to lose his partner of sixty years, or to give up walking because it hurts too much, but we have some choice in how we process the loss and the life left to us. We can focus on what we’ve lost or on the life we have now. Health factors, as shattering as they can be, are only part of the story.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 13)
“When you’re old, you have to make yourself happy. Otherwise you get older.” ~ Ping Wong, via Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 13)
“When I asked him what was the happiest period of his life, he did not hesitate. ‘Right now,’ he said.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 8)
“Being an expert is exhausting. Being a student—letting go of your ego—is like sitting for a banquet at the best restaurant you’ll ever visit.” ~ John Leland, Happiness is a Choice You Make (Page 7)
Happiness Is a Choice You Make [Book]
Book Overview: In 2015, when the award-winning journalist John Leland set out on behalf of The New York Times to meet members of America’s fastest-growing age group, he anticipated learning of challenges, of loneliness, and of the deterioration of body, mind, and quality of life. But the elders he met took him in an entirely different direction. Despite disparate backgrounds and circumstances, they each lived with a surprising lightness and contentment. The reality Leland encountered upended contemporary notions of aging, revealing the late stages of life as unexpectedly rich and the elderly as incomparably wise. Happiness Is a Choice You Make is an enduring collection of lessons that emphasizes, above all, the extraordinary influence we wield over the quality of our lives. With humility, heart, and wit, Leland has crafted a sophisticated and necessary reflection on how to “live better”―informed by those who have mastered the art.
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Post(s) Inspired by this Book:
- 23 Quotes on Aging, Living, and Dying from Happiness Is a Choice You Make
- John Leland Quote on Contentment and Why You Should Grab It While You Can (Beyond the Quote 278/365)
- John Leland Quote on Happiness and How Gratitude is the Key That Unlocks the Door (Beyond the Quote 221/365)
- Jonas Mekas Quote on Choosing Art and Beauty Against Ugliness and Horrors (Beyond the Quote 20/365)
- David Bowie on Aging Being An Extraordinary Process (Beyond the Quote 7/365)
“If your life is not what it could be, try telling the truth. If you cling desperately to an ideology, or wallow in nihilism, try telling the truth. If you feel weak and rejected, and desperate, and confused, try telling the truth. In Paradise, everyone speaks the truth. That is what makes it Paradise. Tell the truth. Or, at least, don’t lie.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 230)
“To tell the truth is to bring the most habitable reality into Being. Truth builds edifices that can stand a thousand years. Truth feeds and clothes the poor, and makes nations wealthy and safe. Truth reduces the terrible complexity of a man to the simplicity of his word, so that he can become a partner, rather than an enemy. Truth makes the past truly past, and makes the best use of the future’s possibilities. Truth is the ultimate, inexhaustible natural resource. It’s the light in the darkness. See the truth. Tell the truth.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 230)