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Gregory Stock Quote on Friendship—and What Your Friends Say About You

    “What could someone figure out about you by the friends you’ve chosen? …Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you?  Less or more talented and successful than you?  Do they share your values?  Ambitions?  Interests?”

    Gregory Stock, The Book of Questions

    Beyond the Quote (62/365)

    You could probably learn a lot about someone by the friends they’ve chosen.  In fact, I’m a firm believer in the idea that you are a product of who you surround yourself with the most.  How could you not be?  Your close friends are the ones who have the greatest influence over you.  They’re the ones who you spend the most time with, who you challenge to games and do activities with, who you poke around with intellectually, who you have deep conversations with (or at least conversations beyond the superficial), and who you measure (and ultimately align) values, ambitions, and interests with.  While this certainly isn’t always the case, I feel like it is more often than it’s not and can definitely provide noteworthy insights that will help you better understand your current situation.

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    The Dalai Lama Quote on Handling Problems by Zooming Out and Looking From a Broader Perspective

      “When we help others, the focus of our mind assumes a broader horizon within which we are able to see our own petty problems in a more realistic proportion.  What previously appeared to be daunting and unbearable, which is what often makes our problems so overwhelming, tends to lose its intensity.”

      Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness

      Beyond the Quote (60/365)

      This is where the idea of “first world problems” comes from.  We will complain about and feel overwhelm from the problems that are prevalent in our world—as small or as large as that world is.  If our world is small from inexperience or lack of opportunity, then our small problems will appear to be big.  If our world is large from a plethora of experiences and plentiful opportunities, then even our “large” problems will appear to be small.  If what we have to complain about, for example, is some stupid thing someone said to us, and our world is small and we don’t have anything else affecting us, then why would we complain and worry about anything else?  That which doesn’t immediately affect us doesn’t immediately concern us.  The entire scope of our focus is directed at the only thing that is calling for it, which in this case, is the stupid thing someone said to us.  That is our entire world and that is our only problem to focus on.  Until it’s not.

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      Pema Chodron Quote on Suffering and What We Should Do To Alleviate It

        “It’s not the things that happen to us that cause us to suffer, it’s what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening.”

        Pema Chodron, via Essential Zen Habits (Page 106)

        Beyond the Quote (59/365)

        Think about your mind like a movie theater. What you say to yourself is what directs and creates the movie that plays in your mind. You can direct and play whatever type of movie you want—action, comedy, romance, horror, adventure, thriller, etc.  What you don’t get to do, however, is choose how the events in your movie unfold.  So, if you can’t control how the events unfold, how can you control how the movie plays out?  It’s all in the director’s (your) creative interpretation and expression of how those events influence the main character to think, feel, speak, and act (also you).  You get to take the expression, “Everything happens for a reason” and you get to determine why everything happened and for what reason and see to it that the movie plays out in a direction of your choosing.

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        Brené Brown Quote on Perfectionism and How It’s Unattainable and Self-Destructive

          “Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect.  Perfection is an unattainable goal.  Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception – we want to be perceived as perfect.  Again, this is unattainable – there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.”

          Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

          Beyond the Quote (58/365)

          What a gift it would be if we were able to drop all of our desires for perfection.  And I’m not just talking about some of our desires for perfection—I mean all of them.  The desire to look perfect; to have perfect grades/ outcomes/ performances; to be perceived as perfect by others; to have perfect answers to questions; to be the perfect mother/ father/ spouse/ sibling; to have the perfect circumstances; to live the perfect life…  Why?  Because every single one of these desires creates suffering.  They create unattainable, unrealistic goals that lead to constant disappointment, self-judgement, and less acceptance of your self and others.  And in this world—in this reality—there is no such thing as perfect.

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            “Instead of praising those people who happen to possess some piece of knowledge, we ought to praise those who have the right attitude towards it, since only this benchmark also includes those who strive for the truth and miss out on it for reasons not entirely under their control. Consider traits such as intellectual humility (a willingness to be wrong), intellectual courage (to pursue truths that make us uncomfortable), open-mindedness (to contemplate all sides of the argument, limiting preconceptions), and curiosity (to be continually seeking).” ~ Jonny Robinson, Aeon

            Robert Kiyosaki Quote on The Importance Of Learning In Today’s Fast-Changing World

              “In today’s fast-changing world, it’s not so much what you know anymore that counts, because often what you know is old. It is how fast you learn. That skill is priceless.”

              Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad (Page 212)

              Beyond the Quote (57/365)

              And to that point, even more important than the speed in which you learn is whether or not you are actually still learning. The world is changing at an incredible pace and as Kiyosaki points out, more often than not, what you know from what you’ve been taught is likely outdated and old.  Thankfully, with the internet and Google, we don’t have to worry about memorizing new material or about having access the latest ideas—they are readily available to us with a couple of quick thumb taps.  But with that access and organization still comes responsibility on our part. 

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              Quote About How You Don’t Find What You Don’t Seek

                “Take heed: you do not find what you do not seek.”

                English Proverb

                Beyond the Quote (56/365)

                Obviously, right?  Well… Maybe not so obvious.  The concept is easily understood, of course.  If you’re playing hide and seek with your kids, for example, and you send them off to hide, but you choose not to seek them out (that was mean of you), then they won’t be found.  Until of course, they come out seeking you so that they can yell at you for not playing the game with them properly (and for being mean)!  If you don’t seek, you won’t find.  If you don’t go out looking for cars, you won’t find a car.  If you don’t seek advice or help, you won’t find advice or help.  If you don’t look for the good in people, you won’t find the good in people.  Where this concept becomes, “not so obvious” is when you want to find but don’t know how to seek (or aren’t even aware that you’re not seeking).

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                  “When you are arguing with someone, you want to be right, and you want the other person to be wrong.  Then it’s them that has to sacrifice something and change, not you, and that’s much preferable.  If it’s you that’s wrong and you that must change, then you have to reconsider yourself—your memories of the past, your manner of being in the present, and your plans for the future.  Then you must resolve to improve and figure out how to do that.  Then you actually have to do it.  That’s exhausting.  It takes repeated practice, to instantiate the new perceptions and make the new actions habitual.  It’s much easier just not to realize, admit and engage.  It’s much easier to turn your attention away from the truth and remain wilfully blind.” ~ Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules for Life (Page 357)

                    “Wish upon a star, and then act properly, in accordance with that aim.  Once you are aligned with the heavens, you can concentrate on the day.  Be careful.  Put the things you can control in order.  Repair what is in disorder, and make what is already good better.  It is possible that you can manage, if you are careful.  People are very tough.  People can survive through much pain and loss.  But to persevere they must see the good in Being.  If they lose that, they are truly lost.” ~ Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 351)

                      “When you love someone, it’s not despite their limitations. It’s because of their limitations.  Of course, it’s complicated.  You don’t have to be in love with every shortcoming, and merely accept.  You shouldn’t stop trying to make life better, or let suffering just be.  But there appear to be limits on the path to improvement beyond which we might not want to go, lest we sacrifice our humanity itself.”

                      Jordan Peterson, via 12 Rules for Life (Page 347)

                      Joseph Jaworski Quote on Beautiful Settings and How They Can Drive You Out Of Yourself

                        “Part of the magic of the experience lay in the sheer beauty of the setting: the breathtaking sight of the high mountains, the sweep of the sky, the panorama of the great valley. The beauty drives you out of the self for a moment – so that for this time, the self is not.”

                        Joseph Jaworski, Synchronicity

                        Beyond the Quote (55/365)

                        This is (at least in strong part) why we are so drawn to beautiful destinations.  The sheer beauty of the settings that we travel to pull us out of ourselves—and for that time, the self is not.  It’s an incredible escape that is so cherished because our “monkey minds” drive us crazy.  I’m sure you might be able to relate.  You know the feeling of being unsettled, restless, confused, indecisive?  That’s the monkey mind It’s our inner critic and the part of our mind that is most connected to the ego.  The monkey mind insists on being heard, is relentlessly talkative, is constantly pointing to all of our flaws and mistakes, and contends to keep us distracted from doing any kind of deep work all of the time.  It’s exhausting and it’s what makes us want a vacation so damn bad.

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                          “In the end, after letting go of my ideals of perfection, after letting go of my striving for goals, after wanting things to be a certain way… what am I left with?  I’m left with Love.  This feeling of boudless love, not for one specific person and not even limited to human beings, can motivate me to get up in the morning and write.  It motivates me to be vegan, because my love extends to animals.  It motivates me to work out, because my love extends to me, and to my kids for whom I’m setting this example of an active lifestyle.  It motivates me to let go of attachments that lead to frustrations, because why fight with someone you love?  Love can move you to be mindful, to appreciate the reality of this current moment, to appreciate and embrace impermanence as something beautiful, to be grateful, to make the most of this dewlike life.  Love can move you to overcome struggles.  Love can transform bitterness into softness, anger into kindness, self-hatred into self-compassion.  Love is both the path, and the mover.” ~ Leo Babauta, Essential Zen Habits (Page 204)

                          Eckhart Tolle Quote on Finding The Life Underneath Your Problems

                            “Narrow your life down to this moment.  Your life situation may be full of problems—most life situations are—but find out if you have any problem at this moment.  Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now.  Do you have a problem now?  When you are full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution.  So whenever you can, make some room, create some space, so that you find the life underneath your life situation.”

                            Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now (Page 63)

                            Beyond the Quote (53/365)

                            Empty your cup.  Before you can make room for new tea in your cup, you need to empty what tea you already have.  If you keep pouring, your cup will keep overflowing and you will never be able to drink your tea because your cup will still have tea being poured into it!  That, plus, the space around you will quickly start turning into a terrible mess which will result more in panic than it will tea drinking.  You need to stop pouring the tea, place the kettle down, and focus on drinking what you have.  You need to create some space.  And the same is true for your life situation.

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