“There is a term—energy vampires—meant to describe the kind of people who, because of their lack of boundaries, suck others dry with their neediness, their selfishness, their dysfunction, and their drama. Not only must you not be an energy vampire yourself, but you must be aware that these type of people exist. You must be strong enough to keep them at arm’s distance—even if they’re beautiful, even if they’re talented, even if they’re family or old friends from childhood, even if their helplessness calls to the most empathetic part of yourself. A country without borders, it has been said, is not really a country at all. So it goes with people. Without boundaries, we are overwhelmed. We are stretched too thin. So thin that those features that previously defined us start to disappear until there’s no telling where we start and the energy vampires around us end.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 206)
“Love does not fix everything, and it does not arrive with perfection. Love is simply a sign of how important someone is to you, but what comes after that is learning how to care for them. Care is not immediate; it requires gradual and intentional learning so that you can better understand the shape of your partner’s mind. Trying to understand where your partner is strong and where they are tender sets the groundwork to truly support their happiness. The same emotional skills that you develop as you take a good look at yourself during your inward journey are the same skills that help you with learning how to care for your partner.”
Yung Pueblo
“In Meditations, Marcus [Aurelius] talks about how he had a good day because he escaped anxiety. Then, he actually corrects himself, he goes ‘Actually, no, I didn’t escape it, I discarded it because it was within me.’ He’s realizing that he is the common variable in all the situations that cause him anxiety, just as you are. Anxiety is within us. We want to work on [controlling] it and thinking about it so it doesn’t rule our lives — or ruin our lives.”
Ryan Holiday
“John D. Rockefeller would take regular breaks from his notoriously demanding schedule to mill about in his garden—it was his personal escape. Find your “garden” and go there often. Practice stillness, flex the solitude muscle. Be bored for at least 15 minutes per day. It’s an unlock for creativity and mindfulness.”
Sahil Bloom
“It takes discipline not to insist on doing everything yourself. Especially when you know how to do many of those things well. Especially when you have high standards about how they should be done. Even if you enjoy doing them—whether that’s mowing your own lawn, writing your speeches, making your own schedule, or answering your own phone. Often, the best way to manage the load is to share the load. Woe is the person who wears themselves out on trivial matters and then, when the big moments come, is out of energy. Woe is the person (and the people around them) who is so mentally exhausted and strung out because they’ve taken everything upon themselves that now, when things go wrong, there’s no slack or cushion to absorb the additional stress.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 193)
“Is it a little discouraging that we never seem to ‘arrive’? That our standards rise just out of reach of our abilities? Absolutely not! We move the goalposts so the game doesn’t get boring and, more important, so it never ends. Ultimately, this brings us more pleasure and more satisfaction. We reach heights we’d never have been able to see otherwise. Do you want to be rotting or ripening? Are you getting better? Because if you’re not… then you’re probably getting worse.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 189)
“Socrates didn’t know much. There wasn’t much he held for certain. But he was sure, he said, that ‘we cannot remain as we are.’ It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. Nobody is as good as they could be. Nobody is perfect. Everybody can improve. There are few self-fulfilling prophecies more important or more dangerous than this. If you think you have room to grow, you do and you will. If you think you’re as good as you can be… you’re right. You won’t get any better.”
Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny (Page 187)
“Ambition, which overthrows governments and private fortunes, which feeds on blood and crimes, ambition… is, like all inordinate passions, a violent and unthinking fever that ceases only when life ceases—like a conflagration which, fanned by a pitiless wind, ends only after all has been consumed.”
Napoleon, via Discipline Is Destiny (Page 175)
