“Books hold most of the secrets of the world, most of the thoughts that men and women have had. And when you are reading a book, you and the author are alone together—just the two of you. A library is a good place to go when you feel unhappy, for there, in a book, you may find encouragement and comfort. A library is a good place to go when you feel bewildered or undecided, for there, in a book, you may have your question answered. Books are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people—people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book.”
EB White, Letters to the Children of Troy
“Forgiveness has to flow in both directions. None of us is perfect, and though there will be situations where you are blameless, there are also times when there are missteps on both sides of a conflict. When you cause pain and others cause you pain, it’s as if your hearts get twisted together into an uncomfortable knot. When we forgive, we start to separate our pain from theirs and to heal ourselves emotionally. But when we ask for forgiveness at the same time, we untwist together. This is a bit trickier, because we’re much more comfortable finding fault in other people and then forgiving it. We’re not used to admitting fault and taking responsibility for what we create in our lives.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 43)
“Just by being okay, how will you love? Why be so miserly about it? But there are many people who are stuck at okayness. They have lost all energy just because of their ideas. Okayness is like a person who is not sick but who is also not healthy, just so-so. He is not ill, but he is not alive and healthy. He cannot celebrate.”
Osho, Everyday Osho (Page 66)
“Anticipation can soften despair. Always have something on the calendar that you’re looking forward to.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Before we find our way to forgiveness, we are stuck in anger. We may even want revenge, to return the pain that a person has inflicted on us. An eye for an eye. Revenge is the mode of ignorance—it’s often said that you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else. Monks don’t hinge their choices and feelings on others’ behaviors. You believe revenge will make you feel better because of how the other person will react. But when you make your vindictive play and the person doesn’t have the response you fantasized about—guess what? You only feel more pain. Revenge backfires.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 39)
“In English, we have the words ’empathy’ and ‘compassion’ to express our ability to feel the pain that others suffer, but we don’t have a word for experiencing vicarious joy—joy on behalf of other people. Perhaps this is a sign that we all need to work on it. Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others. If I only find joy in my own successes, I’m limiting my joy. But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I get to experience fifty times the happiness and joy. Who doesn’t want that?”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 37)
“Showing up is the ultimate act of love. Go to every wedding and every funeral. But more importantly: Go to every sick person’s bedside.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Curiosity is a cure-all for social anxiety. If you’re nervous on a date, ask more questions than you answer.”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue
“Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 35)
“To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness, addressing, and amending. I like to remember this as spot, stop, swap. First, we become aware of a feeling or issue—we spot it. Then we pause to address what the feeling is and where it comes from—we stop to consider it. And last, we amend our behavior—we swap in a new way of processing the moment.”
Jay Shetty, Think Like A Monk (Page 32)
“I know that when I hear the question ‘What’s new?’ I instantly forget everything that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. On any given day, I try to think about something interesting going on in my life right now to avoid this paralysis. It really helps to have a go-to answer to ‘How was your week?’ that isn’t along the lines of ‘Fine, nothing.’ (Jury Duty was GREAT for this. Now I have to come up with something else!)”
Mari Andrews, Out of the Blue