“Say your son or daughter jumps into the car after soccer practice and says, ‘I hate it. I’m never going back. I quit.’ This always strikes a nerve with parents who are likely to respond with: ‘You can’t quit. Where’s your team spirit?’ or ‘Oh my God, what happened? I’m going to call the coach!’ or ‘Are you hungry? Let’s go eat. You’ll feel better.’ None of that is listening. Grilling them about what happened is interrogating. Telling them they shouldn’t feel how they feel is minimizing. And changing the subject is just maddening. Kids, like all of us, just want to be heard. Try instead, ‘Have you always felt this way?’ or ‘What would quitting mean?’ Look at it as an invitation to have a conversation, not as something to be fixed or get upset about.”

Kate Murphy, You’re Not Listening