Happy But Never Satisfied – Motivational or Misleading?

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Excerpt: Many people love the phrase “Be happy, but never satisfied” and they find it motivational. But, what if it was actually misleading and dangerous for our mental framework?

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“Be happy, but never satisfied.”

Bruce Lee

This is an expression I have heard countless times that, while may be a powerful motivator for constant and never-ending improvement, may also be misleading and dangerous for our mental framework.

Happiness is a state of pleasure or contentment; it’s a state of feeling fulfilled. If I am not content or am clearly unsatisfied—how can I also, simultaneously, be happy? The statement reads like a blaring contradiction to me: “Be happy, but never be happy.”

• If I am unsatisfied with a meal that I ate, how can I be happy with it?
• If you are never satisfied with your work, are you really happy with your work?
• If you are never content with what you are actively doing, how can you call yourself happy?

To try and be happy but not satisfied is the same as trying to be content or pleased but not happy — they are part of the same whole.

One of our uniting goals as people on this earth is that we all seek fulfillment — in some way, shape, or form. While that may be different for everyone, to adopt the mindset of never being satisfied is electing to never be fulfilled.

For what is satisfaction, but a feeling of fulfillment? And what does this expression do other than lead you to a never-ending feeling of desire (for more) and un-fulfillment?

Here’s the thing: I get it.

Never satisfied is an appeal to ambition. It’s a reminder that there’s always something more to do. Always another goal to reach. Always another target to hit. And while yes, it may certainly drive you to do more, have you ever considered that maybe, it’s precisely what’s causing you unhappiness?

Contentment doesn’t create more desire.

Contentment makes what you already have, enough. And let me make this easy: if your basic necessities for survival are covered and you’re living somewhere between comfortable and uncomfortable — then contentment is there for you. You have just forgotten how to see it.

Contentment is here. It’s right here for you and I to grasp. Of this I am sure. It is not a matter of availability, but a matter of whether or not you can see it; whether or not you can recognize it; whether or not you even know what you’re looking for.

Contentment is not there. It’s not in the past. It’s not in the future. And if you convince yourself that it is, you will miss the contentment that’s available to you right now — for sure — for a contentment that may or may not be available to you later. Because nothing about the future is ever for sure.

The very desire for a different kind of contentment is a perpetuated discontentment.

What makes you think that something later will satisfy the discontented spirit that you’re holding right now? Do you have something now that you dreamed of having in the past? Where is the contentment from that? If your contentment is always only short-lived then is it really contentment? Or is it just a temporary endorphin release?

Many of us know someone that wouldn’t know contentment if it slapped them in the face. People who would look at that hand that slapped them and think of ways they could make it more desirable. Maybe with some rings, bracelets, lotions, tattoos… Or even worse, how they can become better receivers of slaps. It’s madness! Even hands can create discontentment in our lives! Isn’t it so?

Desire is never ending. Unless you consciously choose to end it. You just have to make what you already have — enough. Really, truly, be thankful for what’s in your life. Easier said than done, I know. But, when the hard work of doing it is done — so are you. You’ll be done with desire and constant feelings of lack. Worth the effort? I think so.

Contentment isn’t a finish line — it’s a way of living.

And it’s possible to live in contentment and still seek to do better each day. There doesn’t need to be a feeling of lack in order for you to do your best. In fact, how can you do your best if you’re feeling like something is lacking? As though you are incomplete?

Best efforts come from feelings of wholeness. Wouldn’t you agree? You have to feel like what you’re doing is in alignment with your purpose, calls upon your unique talents, and is impacting people in positive ways.

And getting there starts with filling yourself with overall contentment here. And that isn’t something that happens later. It’s something that happens in the now — if you would just let it.

To be clear, this is not an argument in favor of complacency or settling. It’s an argument against using desire as a means to achieve happiness.

Because creating desire is quite literally the act of creating unhappiness. Plus, if you can eliminate those desires and connect to happiness now, it will help you perform better anyway.

Conventional wisdom holds that if we work hard we will be more successful, and if we are more successful, then we’ll be happy — but recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that this formula is actually backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around.

“When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work. This isn’t just an empty mantra. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe.”

Good Think Inc.

So, rather than never being satisfied and always putting yourself into a state of discontentment, why not meet yourself where you are? Why not connect to the present moment and soak in the totality of the now so that you can perform at your absolute best? Don’t you think it would have a much stronger impact than carrying around a feeling of constant lack?

So, what’s the counter expression then?

How about: Growing and contributing every day and wouldn’t have it any other way. Growing because growth is life. Stagnation, regression, complacency is death. Contributing because it’s how we connect with others and fulfill our life’s task. And when we’re doing that every day, why would we want to have it any other way?

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